Lionblaze has a Shadow
by malicent
Summary: Lionblaze and Jayfeather go through life like any other messed up teenagers do.
1. But I'm Allergic

Lionblaze has a shadow. Part One: But im allergic

"Jayfeather, that was my piece of cake," Lionblaze snapped. Jayfeather pretended not to hear him. Lionblaze watched Jayfeather cut another piece before snatching the fork from his hands. "I told you three times not to eat it!" Lionblaze said frustratedly. Jayfeather rolled his eyes.

"and i also told YOU three times that your shirt is hideous, but yet there it is." Lionblaze self-consiously folded his arms over his blue and green checkered shirt. "Heatherpaw gave it to me," he huffed. "What was i supposed to do, throw it in the garbage?"

"i would have."

"well that's because you obviously have no emotion for anyone but yourself," Lionblaze said. Jayfeather picked up the cake with his hands and stuffed it into his mouth. "i guess i don't," Jayfeather turned around and began walking away. Before he was completly out of reach Lionblaze slapped him on the back, and Jayfeather spewed the cake all over the floor.

"Hey! idiots! i just cleaned the floor!" Hollyleaf screeched. Lionblaze looked up to see Hollyleaf standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Don't yell at me it's Jayfeather who's wasting all the food," Lionblaze retorted. Hollyleaf rolled her eyes.

"He wouldn't have spat it out if you hadn't hit him." Lionblaze grinned. Jayfeather scowled. "Now if your done horsing around, can we please go? and Lionblaze, change ur shirt. it's an eyesore," Hollyleaf spun around and stalked out of the room. Lionblaze sighed. He didn't want to go to another one of Hollyleaf's book club meetings. She had them every week, and of course he and Jayfeather were expected to go. The last one she had Lionblaze had faked having a cold so he wouldn't have to go. This week, the book that they were going to be discussing was called "The Old Oak." Hollyleaf and the other members, (Berrynose, Ravenpaw and Honeyfern) had finished their books, and tonight they would be discussing what their favourite parts were about them. Hollyleaf gave the books to Jayfeather and Lionblaze a while ago, and they pretended to read them here and there. They were expected to talk about what they liked about it too. The problem with this was Lionblaze hadn't even gotten past the first chapter and he knew for a fact that Jayfeather hadn't even taken so much as a glance at the cover. As Lionblaze struggled to remember what he had read in his pitiful few pages, he yanked off his shirt and put on a different one that was just a solid blue colour. He hated the checkered shirt as much as anyone else did, but he didn't want to make Heatherpaw sad by not wearing it. Suddenly he heard Jayfeather clear his throught behind him and turned around.

"Lionblaze, i didn't read a word in that freaking book," Jayfeather pulled his long hair nervously.

"I didn't even get past the first chapter," Lionblaze confessed. Jayfeather groaned. "Hollyleafs gonna kill us!" Lionblaze nodded his agreement.

"Maybe we can just scam our way through, like you know, make stuff up about how we felt about it without actually saying anything about the book," Lionblaze said. A loud honk from outside made Lionblaze jump. Hollyleaf was waiting for them.

"It'll have to work," Jayfeather sighed. "let's go and get this over with." As they walked down the stairs, Lionblaze hurriedly told Jayfeather what he could remember from the little bit he read.

"... so the story takes place in a trailer.. no tent... wait it could be an apartment," Lionblaze rambled.

"Whos the main character?"

"bill or henry or something. whatever, it's probley not important," Lionblaze whispered as he opened the back door to Hollyleafs car. As soon as they were settled Hollyleafs dark eyes looked at them through the mirror.

"You guys like Catianas, right?" she asked. "thats where we're meeting the others. They have amazing calimari there."

"I'm alergic to calimari" Lionblaze said.

"I absolutely love the black tiger prawns," Hollyleaf continued. "they are so good. Me and Ravenpaw got some last week."

"i'm alergic to calimari," Lionblaze repeated.

"Also, the wonton soup is great. Jayfeather, you've had it, havn't you?"

"im allergic to-"

"i know for gods sake! just order something else!" Hollyleaf yelled. Lionblaze secretly glanced at Jayfeather. He knew he was thinking the same thing. Hollyleaf was probably to irritated by Lionblaze to ask any questions about the book. They drove in silence the rest of the way to Cattianas. Slamming the door behind her, Hollyleaf stalked a few feet ahead of Lionblaze and Jayfeather. Immidatly once they were inside, Lionblaze reconized the dark hair of Ravenpaw and the silvery hair of Honeyfern. Berrynose sat crossly beside her with his mouth twisted into a scowl. Lionblaze guessed he didn't want to come but didn't have a choice either.

"Don't say anymore stupid things," Hollyleaf hissed in his ear before she sat down next to Ravenpaw. Lionblaze fiddled with his phone while the rest talked about the book. Jayfeather sat there picking imaginary lint of his sweater, looking more stressed by the minute.

"What was your favourite part, Lionblaze?" Honeyfern suddenly asked. Lionblaze was so immorsed in fake texting he didn't hear her

"Lionblaze," Hollyleaf snapped. Lionblazes head shot up. "what?" he asked.

"I asked you what your favourite part in the book was," Honeyfern repeated. Everyones eyes burned into him.

"Well, it's a difficult desision. i enjoyed the entire book so much," Lionblaze scratched his chin and began pretended to think. "i think i enjoyed the beginning of the book the best," Lionblaze said smoothly. "the part where Henry picked his first apple from the tree really got to me." Everyone stared at him.

"Henry?" Ravenpaw looked confused.

"Lionblaze, his name was Bill," Hollyleaf said.

"Bill? Oh yeah i know that. Just got the name mixed up from another book im reading," Lionblaze could feel his face going red. Luckily no one could say anything after that, because the waiter had arrived.

"What may i get for you this evening?" the waiter asked. Berrynose looked over at Lionblaze. "what are you going to get? i'm thinking the soup looks good, but so does the salsbury steak."

"I had my heart set on the calimary, but then i remembered im allergic to it," Lionblaze said. Hollyleaf shot him a death glare from across the table. Jayfeather hid his laugh with a cough. Hollyleaf rolled her eyes. "I'll have a ceaser salad," she said. Jayfeather and Lionblaze both ordered hambergurs. Honeyfern got a salad too and Berrynose ordered spagetti. Ravenpaw just got a glass of water. Lionblaze managed to get away with another few without saying anything. Then he noticed Jayfeather was looking a bit flushed.

"Lionblaze, did you think the end of the book was good?" Berrynose asked. Just as Lionblaze opened his mouth to make up an excuse, Jayfeather let out a heart-stopping burp that cascaded across the entire table. Lionblaze let out a sigh of relief. Saved again. Hollyleaf dropped her head on her hands and Honeyfern snorted. Berrynose high fived Jayfeather under the table. Ravenpaw sipped his water and pretended nothing happened. Jayfeather wiped wiped his mouth and tried to catch Hollyleafs eye, who flat out refused to accept his apology. Lionblaze was trying to stifle his laugh, which made his hands shake so bad he dropped his hambergur, Ketchup and musterd sliding down his shirt. Lionblaze tryed to stand up and resulted in stepping on the hamberger patty that fell on the floor. Jayfeather fell off his chair he was laughing so hard. Lionblaze hopped around trying to get the patty off his shoe. Hollyleaf threw fifty dollars on the table and stormed out of the resturant.


	2. Deny My Attractions

Lionblaze has a Shadow. Part 2: Deny My Attractions

"That was the most embarrassing expieriance of my entire life!" Hollyleaf slammed the car door behind Lionblaze, not caring that she almost crushed his fingers. "You and Jayfeather are forbidden from my book club! i hope your happy!" Hollyleaf half yelled, half cryed.

"I'm devastated," Jayfeather said flatly.

"Like, did you see the look on Ravenpaws face? he thinks i'm a freak!" Hollyleaf sobbed. Lionblaze sighed, getting tired of Hollyleaf making a big show out of him accidently dropping his hamburger. He pulled out a pack of smokes.

"for gods sake have a cigerrette and calm the hell down," Lionblaze said.

"You idiot! you know we don't smoke in my car!" Hollyleaf screamed. She took the smoke anyway. They went a few miles without anyone saying anything, and Lionblaze was just starting to relax when Hollyleaf spoke again. "im sorry, Lionblaze. i'm not mad to you."

"Oh really."

Hollyleaf sighed. "I'm not. i just feel like a loser."

"Your not the one with the ketchup all over your shirt."

"And you didn't just make a fool of yourself in front of the one person who's truly special to you! Look Lionblaze, i'm sorry i dragged you to my meetings and i'm sorry i made you read those books. Would it have been so bad just to tell me that you hated it?"

Lionblaze slumped in his seat, suddenly feeling ashamed. "I'm sorry," he said. Hollyleaf smiled at him through the mirror and Lionblaze knew that Hollyleaf accepted his apology.

"I thought Ravenpaw was gay," Jayfeather said suddenly.

Hollyleafs friendly expression suddenly turned dark. "Excuse me?" she snapped. Jayfeather ran his fingers through his hair. "He was staring at me the whole time we were at the resturant."

"He was freaked out because you kept checking him out," Lionblaze said.

"i was not!" Jayfeather screeched.

"Uh, yeah. you totally were," Lionblaze grinned. Hollyleaf snorted from the front seat. "Jayfeather, is there something you want to tell us?"

Jayfeather scowled. "go to hell."

"Were you or were you not checking out Ravenpaw? Just answer the question," Lionblaze was serious now. He thought Jayfeather was joking along at first, but the way his face was burning red was making him wonder if he was kidding or not. Hollyleaf grinned.

"The real question here," she said, while Jayfeather remained mute. "Is why Jayfeather isn't denying it?"

At this, Jayfeather finally regained the ability to talk. "You guys are effing retarded. I wasn't _checking him out,_ and if i was looking at him it was because i was probably because i was zoned out from talking about that stupid book."

"You think he's hot don't you," Hollyleaf said.

Jayfeather kicked the back of her seat and she lurched forward, nearly steering off into the ditch.

"Fuck you. i'm not gay," Jayfeather said furiously. Hollyleaf just rolled her eyes and didn't speak for the rest of the ride home. Lionblaze couldn't meet his brothers eyes.

**LATER ON THAT NIGHT**

The ringing phone woke up Lionblaze. Cursing under his breath, he looked over at his clock. _Four in the freaking morning._ Lionblaze stumbled into the kitchen and picked up the phone. "Yeah?" he snapped.

"Lionblaze?" a girls voice answered. Lionblaze was suddenly wide awake.

"Heatherpaw?"

"Lionblaze, im sorry for calling so late but i've been up all night thinking," Heatherpaw usually cheerful voice was cold.

"Thinking about what?"

A long pause echoed in Lionblaze's ears.

"Heatherpaw?"

"I don't think we should see each other anymore," Heatherpaw paused as if she was going to saw something else, then hung up aruptly. Lionblaze put the phone back on the wall and sat down on the couch. _Why did you break up with me? _he thought ._ Ive done nothing but try to be the best for you! and you don't even have a reason! you stupid, selfless bitch! i hate you! i love you... _Lionblaze grabbed his hair and pulled it until he felt pain. When it started to feel like it was going to pull out Lionblaze let go. Sighing, he trudged up the stairs and opened the door to Jayfeathers room. He looked at Jayfeather peacefully sleeping and felt tears welling in his eyes. _Jayfeather_ never had to worry about ANYTHING. _His life is so perfect. i hate it,_ Lionblaze thought resentfully. He punched Jayfeather on the arm.

"Hey!" he woke up instantly.

"Your stupid and i hate your perfect life!" Lionblaze screamed. Jayfeather ran his fingers through his hair and stared at Lionblaze.

"What the hell dude, its four in the fucking mor-"

Lionblaze cut him off. Leaping to his feet he glared menecingly at Jayfeather.

"I hate you! i hate the way you never have to deal with anything painfull! how your hair is so _perfect _and _lovely_ and how mine is short and stupid looking!" Lionblaze yelled. Jayfeather stared at him dumbfoundedly. Lionblazes legs crumbled and he sat down on the end of Jayfeathers bed, crying. "Heatherpaw broke up with me," he sobbed.

"What? Why?" Jayfeather said.

"I DON'T KNOW! SHE DIDN'T TELL ME!" Lionblaze shrieked. Jayfeather laid his hand on his brothers shoulder. "She's a idiot, Lionblaze. She doesn't deserve you. Shes probably sitting at home wondering why she was so stupid."

"i never did anything wrong to her! i even forgave her when i found that bag of white powder under her bed!"

"Wait, what?"

"and now shes gone.." Lionblaze picked a sock off the floor and started trying to tear it in half. "If your gonna do that, can you rip ur own socks..." Jayfeather started to say as Lionblaze succeded in tearing the sock. Lionblaze threw the sock back on the ground and stood up.

"I refuse to be upset by this," Lionblaze said unconvincinally.

"...sure u are," Jayfeather replied.

"Can we go to McCat?"

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now. if you havnt forgotten, you forced me to go to McCat in the middle of the night once because you _had a bad dream._"

"That was six years ago."

Lionblaze rolled his eyes. "Get your coat. i'll get Hollyleaf." Jayfeather sighed inwardly as he realized he had no choice.

**please review. tell me if u like it 3**


	3. McCat

Lionblaze has a Shadow: Part 3. McCat

"Hollyleaf."

no reply.

_"Hollyleaf, wake up."_

Hollyleaf rolled over and blinked open her eyes. Lionblazes face stared down at her.

"Come to McCat with me and Jayfeather," he whispered. Hollyleaf irritably looked over at her clock.

"it can't be morning already, what time- _FOUR IN THE MORNING? WHAT THE HELL LIONBLAZE!"_ Hollyleaf yelled.

"Stop screaming! Heatherpaw just broke up with me!" Lionblaze sighed. Hollyleaf stopped yelling at once.

"What?"

"She called me twenty minutes ago and said we shouldn't see each other anymore."

"I'm ... so sorry," Hollyleaf said after a long pause. Lionblaze shrugged. "It doesn't matter. i don't care," Lionblaze said. He didn't meet Hollyleafs eyes as he walked out of the room. He met Jayfeather outside in Hollyleafs car. he was shivering even though he had two sweaters and a coat on.

"Its freaking cold in here," Jayfeather said through his chattering teeth. Lionblaze didn't even feel the cold.

"Your being silly," he muttered. A few slow minutes dragged on then Hollyleaf opened the car door and got in.

"Turn the heat on," Jayfeather chattered. Hollyleaf turned the switch and Jayfeather sighed a sigh of relief. Then he realized freezing cold air was blowing out of the vents.

"It's getting colder!" Jayfeather snapped. Lionblaze grinned. "I bet you ten bucks you can't smoke a cigarette right now," Lionblaze said.

"I bet i could," Jayfeather could barely get the words out of his mouth. Lionblaze passed him one and Jayfeather spents a good five minutes trying to light it while his hands and body were violently shaking. Then the spark lit and Jayfeather threw the lighter at Lionblaze. Lionblaze watched in amusement as Jayfeather dropped the smoke on the floor.

"Goddamn," Jayfeather hissed.

"Pick it up. it's gonna burn the floor," Lionblaze said.

"Im too cold."

"Pick it up! for gods sake i can smell it burning the carpet!" "IF you're so enthusiastic about it then pick it up yourself!"

"If one of you doesnt pick it up im making you both walk back home," Hollyleaf threatened from the front seat. Lionblaze cursed under his breath and picked it up.

**LATER**

"Lionblaze, chew with your mouth shut," Jayfeather snapped. Lionblaze had his mouth full of pancakes and was trying to talk to Hollyleaf at the same time. Lionblaze ignored him, and sent a spray of chewed up pancakes across the table.

"She made me feel worthless and im not," Lionblaze said. He was describing how earlier Heatherpaw had broke up with him. "SHES the stupid one, not me," he said, packing more pancakes into his already full mouth. "Asg ewtuhiun iwjo, SRGSEEGAH ERYY!" Lionblaze shouted.

"Swallow for gods sake," Hollyleaf sighed. "No one understands what your saying." Lionblaze finally swalled his food.

"I was saying that Heatherpaw isn't worth it and i shouldn't be sad about it."

Jayfeather rested his head in his hands. He was so unbelievably tired. It was nearly five in the morning now, and he, Lionblaze and Hollyleaf were sitting in McCat listening to Lionblaze deny his feelings that he "never" loved Heatherpaw. The cashier kept giving them dirty looks and Jayfeather didn't blame him. Jayfeather was woken up out of his thoughts from a loud crash. Lionblaze had knocked over his pancakes on the floor. Hollyleaf sighed.

"Great, Lionblaze. now can we please leave?" She snapped.

"Yeah, just let me clean this up," Lionblaze looked around to make sure the cashier guy wasn't watching before kicking his broken plate under the table, making Jayfeather smile for the first time all night.

THE NEXT DAY

"Hollyleaf, can i use your laptop?" Lionblaze asked.

"Go ahead. And where's Jayfeather? i havn't seen him since this morning," Hollyleaf said, flipping the pages to her book absentmindedly.

"He went to the store because apparently _there wasn't enough raisons for his oatmeal this morning." _

Hollyleaf laughed. "That's Jayfeather for you."

"You didn't see it happen. The way he was yelling was unreal, i thought the house was on fire," Lionblaze turned on the computar. Then he noticed Hollyleaf looked hesitant.

"What?"

"Remember the other day when we came home from my book meeting?" she said at last. Lionblaze had a sinking feeling he knew what this was about.

"...Yeah i do. why?"

Hollyleaf sighed. "I don't know if i was imagining things, but Jayfeathers face was really red when we were joking about him and Ravenpaw."

Lionblaze made a big show of typing in his password and looking at the computar. "I thought i was just imagining it," he said at last.

"Well, you didn't cuz i was sitting up in the front and i could see Jayfeathers face turn beet red in the mirror. Not to mention it was dark in the car too."

"You don't think he's actually... you know.."

"Don't say it. Jayfeather CANT be gay, don't you remember he had a girlfriend once?"

Lionblaze snorted. "Yeah right, you mean Half Moon? Jayfeather went out with her for a week. I remember one day he told me they broke up because she kissed him."

"So?"

"He said she _wasn't his type _and he felt _confused and scared_ with her."

"That doesn't sound like something Jayfeather would say," Hollyleaf said flatly. Lionblaze scratched the back of his neck. "Well, he didn't say it in those exact words, but that was the general idea."

Hollyleaf irratably shook her head. "You know, we're probebly blowing this way out of proportion. Jayfeather was probebly just embarrasessed that we were kidding around about him."

"Oh really? and i supose he was also just _embarrased_ when he refuses to answer questions about his attractions."

"Probably."

"Now your just in denial!"

"Lionblaze, even if he is... you know... it's none of our business," Hollyleaf said. Lionblaze sighed. She was right, he knew. But he was still finding it hard to believe that Jayfeathers red face and silent answers were nothing but embarrassment.


	4. Jayfeather the Internet Sensation

**Thank you everyone who has read and likes my story, you don't know how great it made me feel to see ive got 54 hits on my story just for TODAY... and it's not even noon yet! So please review and tell me what you think ... also if you have an idea for it, im always listening. Thank you everyone, i love you! and also if anyone was wondering, my real names not Malicent. Its Michelle. mwahaha**

Lionblaze has a Shadow: Part 4. Jayfeather the Internet Sensation

"Lionblaze, i hope you know how sick and tired i am of you clogging up my computar with all your stupid games," Hollyleaf snapped. Lionblaze rolled his eyes.

"Well just delete them?" he said sarcastically. Hollyleaf always seemed to find something to complain about and it was irritating.

"Thats what im doing you idiot. And are you serious? You wasted half my memory so you could download the entire freaking season of _Desperate Housewives?"_ Hollyleaf threw her hands up in frustration. "Thats wonderful. Thats real freaking great."

"I didn't download that. You know i can't stand that show."

"Well, neither do i." They sat for a minute.

"Jayfeather likes it," Lionblaze sighed.

"What? Desperate Housewives is totally not a guy show."

"Yeah well i've heard him talking about it with Honeyfern once. _"Are u serious? Carlos could NOT have cheated on Gabrielle! Shes like, a 10! _and _Did Bree really think seducing Rex was going to make him love her again? She can do so much better than that!" _

Hollyleaf sat thinking for a minute. "You know now that you mention it i _have _heard him say stuff like that."

"Told you so," Lionblaze restlessly combed his fingers through his hair. "And i forgot to tell you; i can't make it to your book club meeting tonight. I'm not feeling very well. Cough." Lionblaze tryed to fake a cough and failed miserably. Hollyleaf raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"uh huh. Your sick? With what?"

"A cold- no, a flu." Lionblaze decided that the flu sounded worse.

"Riiiight. It helps to at least _choose_ a lie before you tell me it," Hollyleaf smiled at him. "And guess what, your not getting out of it. Berrynose and Honeyfern can't make it tonight because they just moved and need tonight to unpack. And i've got my two cousins coming tonight, they decided to join the club for as long as they're up here. I can't have it to be just me and Ravenpaw and them, it would be awkward."

Lionblaze groaned. "Not Tigerheart and Flametail..." Lionblaze had disliked them ever since he met them. They were just so... weird.

"No, my cousins Mothwing and Hawwkfrost are coming to visit for a few months. They've rented an apartment next to ours and they said they'd love to join my club. And by the way i hope you like _To Kill a Mockingbird_. We're discussing it tonight," Hollyleaf reached into her bag beside her and pulled out a book. Lionblaze groaned, and Hollyleaf threw the book at him.

"Well thanks, Hollyleaf. My whole evenings shot." Lionblaze resentfully opened the book. "Look at this, theres not even any pictures..." Lionblazes voice trailed off as he noticed the expression on Hollyleafs face. "What?"

"Come look at this," Hollyleaf pointed at her laptop. Lionblaze hurried over and looked. A picture of Jayfeather wearing a santa hat holding a 60 of Absolut Vodka stared out at him. To his left, Firestar had his shirt off and the words "I Love Peaches" were painted on his chest in orange lipstick. Other then the fact that they were both totally intoxicated, Lionblaze didn't see anything wrong with the picture. Then he noticed the lipstick marks on firestars face. And the lipstick on Jayfeathers lips.

"Oh dear god," Lionblaze groaned. "Is this just a picture uploaded to the computar? Or is it on the interntet?" Lionblaze asked.

Hollyleaf sighed. "Its on the internet. And thats not the best part."

"Oh jeez what else is there.."

"Theres not just one picture, theres an entire goddamn website."

Lionblaze pulled his hair. "Whhhyyy Jayfeather? Why do you do these things when you drink?" he wailed. Hollyleafs eyes scanned the computar for a few more minutes.

"Okay theres nothing so bad... Just a few compromising pictures. You know something, Jayfeather probebly doesn't even know this website exists," Hollyleaf said.

"What? Why?"

"This website was made the night Firestar turned 18. We were both there at that party, Lionblaze. When i woke up my pants were completly shredded and you had 6 bruises and someone elses shirt on. Both of us didn't didn't remember a thing."

Lionblaze thought this over. "I guess. I still dont have the slightest idea of how me and Jayfeather ended up at Brambleclaws house while you woke up at Crowfeathers."

"Yeah and why do you think i don't go to Firestars partys anymore?" She said. "We always wake up too messed up to remember anything."

Lionblaze was just about to say something when he heard the door click open. Jayfeather was back from the store.

"HI JAYFEATHER," Lionblaze said a little to loudly. Then he turned to Hollyleaf. _"What do we do?"_ he hissed. Hollyleaf motioned for him to be quiet as Jayfeather walked into the room and sat down.

"Holy frikin god you wouldn't believe how hard it was to find a bottle of soy sauce. There was none left so i had to steal it from this guys cart when he went to the bathroom," Jayfeather said. Then he noticed the strained expression on Lionblazes face.

"What?"

Lionblaze held his breath and rocked back and forth, trying to force himself not to say anything. Then he couldn't hold it in any longer and it all came out at once.

"?" Lionblaze said the entire thing on one breath. Jayfeather stared at him for a moment. Hollyleaf sat in a petrified silence with Lionblaze waiting for his answer. Jayfeathers face started to look angry and Lionblaze was scared he was going to hit him. Then Jayfeather sighed, and slumped back on the couch.

"I saw that website a while ago, i guess i made it at Firestars house when he had that party. I don't know what went on between me and him, i swear," Jayfeather said truthfully. Lionblaze gave a sigh of relief.

"So your not mad?" he asked. Jayfeather shook his head. "Nah. If i saw a website like that of you or Hollyleaf id probably be wondering about it too."

"Now answer the other question," Hollyleaf said suddenly. Lionblaze glared at her. She ignored him and kept her eyes on Jayfeather.

"Are you ... attracted to guys, Jayfeather?"

Jayfeather stared at her.

"Hollyleaf, stop being a bitch," Lionblaze said. then he turned to Jayfeather. "You don't need to answer that," he said quietly. They sat in a painful silence as Jayfeather glared menencingly at the both of them. Then Jayfeather noticed the caring expression on Lionblazes face and he calmed down.

"I don't know," he finally said. Lionblaze was so shocked he had actually answered he didn't know what to say. Jayfeather took his silence as a cue to keep talking.

"I know it sounds weird to you, and i hope you know it makes me feel like a total loser to talk about this," Jayfeather turned to look at the ground. Lionblaze started to feel tears welling up in his eyes.

"I just don't feel a connection to girls. At all," Jayfeather said. Lionblaze sniffed and then all the tears came pouring out at once.

"What the hell, Lionblaze!" Jayfeather said.

"Its just that... its just that... your so brave!" Lionblaze bawled, reaching over to grab Hollyleafs sleeve to blow his nose in it. Hollyleaf yanked it away furiously. Jayfeather looked even more embarrased than before.

"Stop that, seriously. Just stop talking."

Lionblaze sniffed and stopped crying. Hollyleaf cleared her throat.

"I hate to break up Lionblazes emotions, but my meeting is in two hours and don't you have a book to pretend to read?"

Lionblaze picked up his hated book. "Jayfeather, want to come and read this with me?" "Sure," Jayfeather got off the couch and followed Lionblaze out of the room. As soon as they were out of Hollyleafs sight, Lionblaze pitched the book into a corner, and Jayfeather laughed for the first time in what Lionblaze thought was forever.


	5. Cloudtail

Lionblaze has a Shadow: Part 5. Cloudtail

_Jayfeather, are you alone_

_is there no one you can phone_

_is there no one who could help_

_try to find your inner self _

_its like they're all in a haze_

_it hurts to go through the days_

_love me please, hold me tight_

_stay with me throughout the night_

_say you love me please, again_

_tell me i could be your friend_

_i'll hold your hand and make you smile_

_make you happy for a while_

_but its like i couldnt see_

_that you could never love me_

_i love u so much it hurts_

_and your presense makes it worse_

_i love you, its so insane_

_how your in my heart and brain_

_i love you, just please love me_

_because pain is all i see._

"Jayfeather, come on. Hollyleafs waiting in the car," Lionblaze pulled on his coat and glanced over at his brother. Jayfeather was lying on the couch, absentmindedly picking his nails.

"Im not up for it tonight. I don't feel well," He sighed. Lionblaze knew he wasn't lying, Jayfeather actually looked sick.

"Well, okay," Lionblaze said at last. "I'll tell Hollyleaf your sick." Lionblaze walked out the door leaving Jayfeather alone. He was supposed to go to Hollyleafs book club meeting, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. The last one was such a disaster, and Jayfeather didn't want to sit in a resturant for the entire evening talking about a book he really didn't care about. He was feeling depressed anyway, and didn't really want to talk to anyone.

TWO HOURS LATER

The ringing doorbell woke Jayfeather up from his nap. Cursing, he got up and walked toward the door. _Stupid people. Get the hell off my doorstep. im busy._ Jayfeather opened the door and angerly stared at the person in front of him. Black rimmed eyes stared back at him, with bright blue colours that looked Jayfeather up and down. The person was beautiful, with wonderfully long white hair and stripy armbands. And he was male. Jayfeathers thoughts were finally broken when he spoke.

"Um, im looking for Lionblaze."

_Lionblaze?_

"...He's out," Jayfeather stuttered. The boy rolled his eyes and glared at Jayfeather.

"Well, arn't you going to like, ask me to take a message?" he snapped.

"It depends what you want to tell him," Jayfeather retorted, his usual sarcastic self coming back to him. The boy looked surprised.

"Oh arn't you the fucking sweetest thing ive heard all day," he said icily. "Oh your just _hilarious. _Are you this rude to everyone else you jackass? Think its funny to be a little bitch to anyone who looks different then you? You fucking little piece of shit, everyone doesn't have the same intrests as you. If i want to be gay i will, and no one can stop me. Expecially not you!" The boy snapped. Jayfeather stood there dumbfoundedly. "Oh yeah, and you can tell _Lionblaze,_" The boy hissed. "That i'll come back later when his idiot roomate isn't around!" Jayfeather stared at him, understanding hitting him up and down. He was getting defensive because he thought Jayfeather was judging him for being gay, hence his swearing and rudeness.

"Oh now your just going to stare at me all day? Thats real fucking lovely, asshole." The boy spun on his heel and started walking away.

"I think your beautiful," Jayfeather said involuntarily. The boy stopped.

"What?"

Jayfeather felt his face turn beet red and he looked down at his feet.

"I think your beautiful. I like your hair," Jayfeather couldn't believe what he was saying. The boys aggressive face changed.

"Why?" He asked. Jayfeather shifted on his feet and looked around, half wishing the boy would have just left so he didn't have to explain himself.

"You look like someone who isn't afraid of anyones judgement," Jayfeather said at last. "The way you look isn't just beautiful, its couragous. I wish i had the confidence to dress like you," Jayfeather said, feeling his red face go away. He didn't even feel uncomfortable talking about this with a complete stranger, it was nice to finally tell someone the truth. And Jayfeather was surprised he wasn't embarrased at all. This time it was the boys turn to look dumbfounded.

"Have a nice day," Jayfeather turned around.

"My names Cloudtail," the boy said. "And i think im in love with you." Jayfeather looked around at him again.

"Excuse me?"

"Can i come in? You know, if your not... busy." "S-sure..." Jayfeather held the door for him. Cloudtail walked in and looked around.

"Is it just you and Lionblaze living here?" he asked. "No, my sister Hollyleaf lives with us too. Hollyleaf pays for most of the stuff though, her having a good job and everything," Jayfeather replyed. He looked around awkwardly.

"Um, would you like something to eat or drink?" He mumbled. Cloudtail looked over at him.

"Coffee?" he said. Jayfeather mumbled something unaudible and started fumbling around trying to find the jar of coffee grounds. This went on for a solid minute before Cloudtail finally cleared his throught.

"It... it doesnt really matter. I can just have water." Jayfeather got him a glass of water and stood there awkwardly for a minute before deciding to go and sit on the couch again. Cloudtail followed and sat down next to him.

"Im sorry i flipped out on you earlier," Cloudtail said. "Its just a habit, y'know.. people get all bitchy cuz they see a guy with makeup on and all that shit. I guess i overreacted," Cloudtail looked into Jayfeathers eyes, which made him turn all red again and look away.

"Well, i guess i kind of get what you mean. Hollyleaf and Lionblaze are on my case all the time asking if im attracted to guys or not."

"Are you?"

Jayfeather sat staring at the wall for a second then got up. "The coffees got to be somewhere," Jayfeather mumbled and randomly opened up cupboards and looking urgently.

"Hey... whats your name, anyway?" Cloudtail had followed Jayfeather into the kitchen.

"Um.. Jayfeather."

Cloudtail grinned. "Thats a cute name. Its better then _Cloudtail._ I mean, how lame is that. Your name sounds cool. _Jayfeather._"

"Stop that," Jayfeather sighed. Then he felt Cloudtail rest his hand on his shoulder, nearly giving him a heart attack. He brushed it off.

"Cloudtail, i think you need to go," He said, and for the first time since he met him, Jayfeather looked deep into Cloudtails eyes. They were slightly narrowed, because he was confused.

"Why," Cloudtail said quietly.

"Because im attracted to you!" Jayfeather slammed the cupboard door shut. "And i don't want to be! I want to like _girls,_ Cloudtail! I want to get married one day and maybe have kids! I cant _do that_ for some reason and its confusing me!" Jayfeather pulled his hair and groaned. "And now im being a complete jerk to you. Im sorry. i really am, now please _leave._" Jayfeather pointed to the door and Cloudtail looked at Jayfeather for two more heartbreaking seconds before turning away.

"I had a girlfriend once," Cloudtail said. "She was beautiful. I loved her and spent all my time with her. But i could never _feel_ anything for her. And i tryed, you better belive me i did. And i let her believe i did, too. It hurt her so bad, Jayfeather." Jayfeather felt his heart hurt.

"And what happened with her?" he asked. Cloudtail smiled sadly. "I got home from work one day, and found her in her room on the floor. She overdosed on pills. And when i looked into her lifeless eyes, all i could think about was all those days when she looked into mine. She was so happy, and in the end it was me who hurt her because i tryed to be someone im not. Thats why i stopped hiding how i really felt," Cloudtail sighed. "And that may not make me a great person, but i like to think it makes me a practical one." Jayfeather saw his eyes watering, and he knew he would lose it if Cloudtail started crying. So he hugged him, and unable to see Cloudtails sad face he was able to regain himself. "You don't have to go," Jayfeather said at last.

_if you were here, wherever you are_

_id steal you the moon and hide you the stars_

_id kiss you and love you_

_like no one else could_

_and if you would let me im sure that i would_

_i miss you when your gone_

_i wish you were here_

_and if we could still talk and listen my dear_

_id say your amazing, and i love you so_

_and if i could see you i would let you know_

_i love you i need you with you theres no fear_

_now tell me the words i would die for to hear._

**I knoe this is a short chapter and im sorry! it took me a while to write that poem though and i think it turned out well .**


	6. Firestars Party 1

Lionblaze has a Shadow: Part 6. Firestars Party 1

Riiiing.

!

"Someone pick up the effing phone," Jayfeather yelled. No way was he going to get up from the couch. He was all relaxed sitting there with his bowl of cereal and no one was going to ruin it. It was probebly Ravenpaw anyways. He called Hollyleaf at least 6 times a day, which was incredibly annoying. He heard Lionblaze pick up the phone from the next room.

"Jayfeather! Its for you!" Lionblaze shouted. Jayfeather was crunching so loudly on his cereal he didn't hear him.

"Hey! Idiot!" Lionblaze threw the phone at Jayfeather, making him choke on his frosted flakes.

"What?" Jayfeather half coughed into the phone.

"Hey Jayfeather, it's Cloudtail."

Jayfeather was so surprised he didn't even notice when his bowl of cereal tipped over onto the carpet.

"Hi," Jayfeather said.

"What you up to?"

"Um. Nothing."

"Me too. Im probebly going to town in a bit."

_I thought only girls called each other without an actual reason,_ Jayfeather thought, remembering the time Berrynose called him. _"Hey Jayfeather, Its me, Berrynose." "Oh. Whats up?" "I dont know. Bored, i guess." "Great. Well bye." _ Jayfeather couldn't bring himself to repeat that procedure with Cloudtail. Jayfeather desperatly looked around, trying to find something to talk about. After a few seconds of this he finally noticed the cereal.

"Well, i lied about doing nothing. I dropped my frosted flakes on the floor."

Cloudtail laughed. "Silly! why'd you do that?" Jayfeather felt himself smiling for no reason.

"I guess i was surprised you called."

"Aww well im glad i did. I wanted to hear your voice again," Cloudtail said. Jayfeather was relived Cloudtail couldn't see his face, which was devil red with this goofy grin Jayfeather was unable to remove.

"I missed you too," he said.

"Who the _hell_ are you talking to? Is that _Cloudtail_ still on the phone?"

Jayfeathers head snapped around to see Lionblaze standing there with his mouth hanging open.

"Um no. Its Hollyleaf."

"Ya freaking right! What kind of person talks to their sister like _that?"_

"Lionblaze go away."

"Just tell me who your talking to!"

"Im talking to Hollyleaf! How many freaking times do i need to tell you?" Jayfeather got off the couch and stormed off to his room.

"Cloudtail, i got to go. Um, you can call me later if you ... want." Jayfeather hung up and started frantically dialing his sisters cell number. He could hear Lionblazes steps coming closer. Jayfeather was starting to panic just as Hollyleaf finally picked up her phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's Jayfeather. Look i need to you talk to Lionblaze and just go along with it."

"Why?"

"Just do it-" Jayfeathers voice cut off when Lionblaze opened his door.

"Im not going to let this go," Lionblaze grinned. "Give me the phone."

"Your so annoying,"Jayfeather snapped, handing him the phone. Lionblazes face fell as he heard Hollyleafs voice on the other end of the line. He hung up and looked at Jayfeather.

"You were right," Lionblaze said dumbfoundedly.

"Were you expecting someone else?" Jayfeather said sarcastically. Lionblaze rolled his eyes.

"Well,truthfully, i thought you were being all flirty with Cloudtail."

Jayfeather laughed. "We're just friends." Lionblaze looked like he bought it, and Jayfeather was relieved.

"Anyways, me, Berrynose and Ravenpaw are going to the bar tonight. You want to join?" Lionblaze asked. "I was thinking of inviting Cloudtail too but i think he's busy."

"He's not. i was just talking to him and he's not doing anything."

"Okay. I'll give him a call in a minute-" Lionblaze stopped talking at once, two seconds after Jayfeather realized what he had said.

"HA!" So you WERE talking to him!" Lionblaze shouted. Jayfeather thought of an excuse as fast as he could.

"Are you retarded? You picked up the effing phone and it was him. I only talked to him for a second and then i called Hollyleaf," Jayfeather forced himself to remain calm so his face didn't turn red. Lionblaze sighed. "Okay. i guess that makes sense. But anyways, you want to come?"

"Sure. Should i call Hollyleaf back and ask her if she wants to go to?"

"No. Firestar doesn't want any girls to come. Its his birthday, and apparently he wants it to be just with the guys."

"Wait, what? _Firestars _going to be there?" Jayfeather choked.

"Well, yeah. It's his birthday for gods sake. im not just going to tell him he isnt aloud to come."

"Thats not the point you idiot! Remember what happened at Firestars last time?" Horrid memorys of Jayfeather throwing up off the deck and waking up with mysterious cuts all over his neck and face came into his mind.

"If you havn't forgotten, i _still_ dont know how my socks winded up jammed in the heat vents!" Jayfeather said furiously. Lionblaze looked confused. "Whats so bad about that?" he scoffed.

"They weren't the socks i wore to the party."

"Oh. Shit, thats weird. But come on, Jayfeather. You have to come. Firestar would be offended if you wont!" Jayfeather sighed. "_Fine. _I'll go. But as long as you promise me nothing weird will happen this time."

LATER ON

Jayfeather couldn't decide whether to wear his dress shirt or long sleeved shirt. He held them up in front of him and sighed. They were both such nice shirts. Jayfeather threw them both in his closet and picked out something else so he wouldnt have to choose. He put it on and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes drifted to Hollyleafs side of the dresser. (Hollyleaf and Jayfeather shared a room, while Lionblaze got his own) Looking behind himself to make sure Lionblaze wasn't anywhere near him, Jayfeather picked up Hollyleafs eyeliner and held it up to his face. _I just want to see whaqt it'd look like, _he thought. He spent the next 7 minutes carefully putting it on. The finishing result was that he looked just like Cloudtail. They both had the same long white hair too. Jayfeather looked at his face for a bit longer and then headed to the bathroom to wash it off. He washed his face for a long time, enjoying the warm washcloth against his cold skin. Then he hung it up, and opened his eyes. The makeup remained unsmudged on Jayfeathers face. Jayfeather nearly had a heart attack. He grabbed the washcloth again and began frantically rubbing his eyes. _Why isn't this coming off?_ Jayfeather started to panic. Him and Lionblaze were leaving to the bar in 10 minutes. Even if he had the _tiniest_ bit of the eyeliner on his face, Lionblaze would see it. And there was no way he'd miss this. Jayfeather charged back to his room and picked up the eyeliner pencil. in bold letters right across the side it said WATERPROOF. Lasts 16-18 hours. _You've got to be fucking kidding! _Jayfeather groaned. Then he heard his door click and he spun around, terrifyed of what Lionblaze would say. But it was just Hollyleaf.

"Im home..." She started to say. Then she saw Jayfeathers face. "Oh my."

"Help me!" Jayfeather wailed. "It won't come off!"

Hollyleaf giggled. "You dumbass. Out of all my makeup, you choose to expiriment with my waterproof ones?"

"Im serious!" Jayfeather cryed. "What do i do? Im leaving for Firestars in 5 flipping minutes!"

Hollyleaf thought about it for a minute. "I have an idea," she said suddenly. An evil grin spread across her face. "I think i know how we can fix this."


	7. Firestars Party 2

Lionblaze has a Shadow: Part 7. Firestars Party 2

"Jayfeather, are you ready to go?" Lionblaze yelled, banging on his brothers door. "Im coming in!" he opened his door to find Jayfeather sitting 1 foot away from Hollyleafs face, carefully doing her makeup.

"What the _hell?"_ Lionblaze shook his head in disgust. "You guys are so freaking weird. Jayfeather, what is that on your face? Your not _seriously _going out like that, are you?"

"Yeah, we are," Hollyleaf said before Jayfeather could say anything. "Its for a joke on Firestar. Remember at one of his partys he woke up with all that makeup on? Well we're going to show up like this to remind him not to drink so much."

"I see," Lionblaze said. "Well, i guess that makes sense. And the same goes for you too. I know its Firestars birthday, and i _know _you always drink way to much at his partys. Cough, Jayfeather."

Jayfeather scowled at him. "I'm not drinking tonight you idiot. Now are you going to participate in our joke or not?" Lionblaze thought for a second. "I guess. None of that mascara shit though."

Later on. NOTHING ILLEGAL GOIN ON HERE NOPE NOPE

"Oh its only a FEW people," Jayfeather rudely mimicked his brothers voice. He was sitting at a table with Lionblaze and Hollyleaf, and there was another _thirteen_ tables, all completly filled with Firestars friends. Hollyleaf was on her fourth drink already.

"This is sooo stupid! They always mix my drinks too much and it breaks all the ice!" Hollyleaf said a bit to loudly. She sloshed it around a bit in the glass, causing it to slip and spill all over her pants.

"Shit," she giggled. "Thats the second time thats happened already!"

Jayfather inwardly groaned. He could tell this was going to be a long night already and they'd only been here for 45 minutes. Lionblaze was half cut already too. He stood up, to announce briefly he was going to the bathroom.

"You've gone like 6 effing times," Jayfeather snapped.

"My body is on a scedule," Lionblaze huffed, and stumbled away. Hollyleaf sighed loudly, and stared at Jayfeather trying to catch his attention.

"What?" Jayfeather said at last.

"Can you plleeease give me a cigerette?" Hollyleaf looked absolutely pertified he'd say no. Jayfeather sighed loudly. "Is that really necessary?"

"You have no fucking idea how necessary this is."

Jayfeather threw her his whole pack. "Don't chain smoke them," he told her. "Ive see you do that and its disgusting."

Hollyleaf showed no sign that she heard him. Jayfeather painfully watched her stand up and shakily walk over to Ravenpaw, sitting on his lap even though there was a sandwich there. Jayfeather looked around, wondering why he had agreed to come. It was no fun when he wasnt drunk too, but he had agreed to drive Hollyleaf and Lionblaze home later. Hollyleaf was sitting with Ravenpaw, Berrynose, Honeyfern, and two other cats Jayfeather didn't reconize. Firestar was in the middle of the whole charade, sitting on a chair on top of a table, with like a zillion other cats crowded around him. Jayfeather turned his head away, refusing to think of what happened with Firestar on his website. He wondered where Lionblaze went, and hoped he didn't wander outside.

"Hey! Jayfeather!"

Jayfeather turned around to see Hollyleaf sprawled out on the table on her belly. She was smiling and holding out her cup. "Try it," she whispered. "Its really tasty."

Jayfeather grabbed it and set it on the table next to him.

"Get off the table. Please. People are staring," Jayfeather found an empty seat and helped Hollyleaf sit up on it. She threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, let them stare, Lionblaze," Jayfeather didn't inturupt to point out that he wasn't Lionblaze.

"They all love me, Lionblaze," she slurred. "They all want to kiss me because ... they think im prettyyy," she laughed, her eyes rolling around. But Hollyleafs face had lost its laughter, replaced with an icy coldness.

"Hey, Hollyleaf," Ravenpaw said. "Firestars taking the party back to his place. Apparently Brambleclaw got caught with drugs and we're all getting thrown out."

"Ha, who are you?" Hollyleaf sneered. Jayfeather had a terrible feeling in his chest that Hollyleaf was about to say something really stupid. Ravenpaw looked hurt. "Ravenpaw... your boyfriend," was his reply. Hollyleaf tipped her head back and laughed again.

"Tell me who you are or i'll find someone else," she giggled. Jayfeather slapped her across the face. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" He yelled. "What the hell do you think your doing?" He turned to Ravenpaw, who looked like he was about to cry.

"Hey, Ravenpaw, she doesn't mean it," He said quietly.

"Yeah right," Ravenpaw scowled. "She always acts stupid when she drinks."

"She _loves_ you, Ravenpaw. With all her heart." Jayfeather said truthfully. Ravenpaw sighed.

"I know. I guess i've done stupid things too."

"Yeah, you have," Hollyleaf blurted out, before falling off her chair.

"Stop talking," Jayfeather snapped. "Your such an idiot, Hollyleaf." This caused Hollyleaf to burst into tears, which was so not what Jayfeather was expecting. He looked exasperatedly up at Ravenpaw.

"I've got to go find my brother. Can you take care of her for me?" He asked. Ravenpaw, who still looked hurt over Hollyleafs words, nodded his head yes. Jayfeather was starting to worry where Lionblaze was. He walked up to the bar, and asked the bartender if he had seen him.

"Hey, kid, i dont know. Go ask your fucking boyfriend of something," the bartender laughed in Jayfeathers face. Jayfeather felt a rush of hatred.

"Excuse me?" he hissed, suddenly remembering he was wearing makeup. The bartender cursed under his breath and walked away, shaking his head like Jayfeather was some sort of alien. Jayfeather sat down at an empty table, and tryed not to cry at how scared he was. Lionblaze disapeared. Hollyleaf was horribly drunk. And Jayfeather was sitting here alone, insulted by the bartender. Jayfeather scanned the room for a friendly face. There was none, just faces confused and blurry. Tears started to fall down Jayfeathers face as he realized how messed up he was, and how he wished he didn't have to see his friends make fools of themselves like this. He knew inside he was making a big deal out of nothing, but it all felt so overwhelming. Then a face appeared in Jayfeathers blurry vision. He wiped his eyes and blinked. It was Cloudtail.

"Don't you look cute!" Cloudtail grinned. The hollow, depressed feeling in Jayfeather evaporated.

"Hi," he smiled. Cloudtail was wearing silver eyeliner and Jayfeather thought it looked amazing. Cloudtails smile suddenly disapeared as he noticed Jayfeathers bloodshot eyes.

"Were you crying?" He asked.

"No. Its allergies," Jayfeather lied.

"Aww Jayfeather! Dont cry, its okay!" Cloudtail reached over and hugged him, and Jayfeather was worryed he would start crying too. Luckily, he didn't.

"So can i get you a drink?" Cloudtail batted his eyelashes at Jayfeather.

"Im not drinking tonight," Jayfeathers face flushed red and he looked away.

"Oh thats no fun! I'll get you a really good one, i promise!" Cloudtail dashed off. Jayfeather frantically started patting his hair to make sure it wasn't sticking up funny. Then he looked down and was relieved to see Hollyleaf sitting back up on her chair, and Ravenpaw didn't look mad anymore. He also noticed Brambleclaw and his group were gone, along with Firestar. Cloudtail returned with two glasses.

"Sprite for you and Absolut for me!" Cloudtail grinned.

"Sprite? What am i, fucking 15 years old?"

"Im kidding. Its the same as mine," Cloudtail flipped his hair out of his face. Jayfeather took a sip.

"Its really good," he said. Cloudtail looked pleased. Jayfeather took another sip (more like a chug), and asked Cloudtail if he had seen his brother anywhere.

"He got kicked out with Brambleclaw and them," Cloudtail said. Jayfeather choked on his drink.

"What? Where did he go?"

"I don't know. he's fine, Jayfeather. The bartender called them a cab so he's probebly at Brambleclaws."

Jayfeather groaned. "But _Firestar_ went with them so they're probebly back at his house! They're probebly over there doing cocaine or something!"

Cloudtail raised his eyebrows. "Is that seriously what you think they're doing?" he scoffed.

"Well, no," Jayfeather admitted. "But whenever Firestars involved something bad always happens."

"Give your brother a chance, Jayfeather," Cloudtail finsished his drink in one swallow. "He's not as perfect as you are." Cloudtail got up from his chair. "Would you like another drink?" he asked. Jayfeather nodded his head yes and stood up too. The room spun slightly around him, and Jayfeather decided he didn't really care anymore.

_later on_...

"Cloudtail, do you have a cigerette?" Jayfeather asked desperatly. Cloudtail thought for a second, and Jayfeather took the time to stare awestruck at how beautiful Cloudtail was. He was so wonderful, Jayfeather smiled whenever he looked at him. Cloudtail finally pulled out one and Jayfeather forced himself to stop staring. Cloudtail handed it to him without saying anything. Jayfeather took it gratefully. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Jayfeather didn't know what to talk about. Jayfeather picked up his half full drink to take a sip of it, but Cloudtail reached out and stopped him. Jayfeather looked up at him, confused.

"I don't want to see you like you saw Hollyleaf earlier," Cloudtail said. Jayfeather raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah? Well you've drank like 6 cups more then me, you know."

"I know, and im perfectly happy."

"Well of course you are, your chugging back a big cup of-" Jayfeather grabbed Cloudtails drink and took a swallow.

"...Sprite," Jayfeather said in surprise when he realized what it was.

"Yeah. I don't drink," Cloudtail explained.

"WHAT? Why not?" Jayfeather asked.

"Because im already happy enough, i dont feel the need to ruin that with alcohol," Cloudtail smiled. "Im with you."

"Your with me," Jayfeather repeated.

"Jayfeather, can i tell you something?"

"Go ahead."

Cloudtail paused.

"What?" Jayfeather said.

"I think i might be in love with you," Cloudtail said after several long seconds. Jayfeather sobered up at once.

"What?" he stared at Cloudtail.

"I know you don't love me, so im not expecting you to say anything back. I just needed to tell you," Cloudtail flicked an imaginary lint off his sweater. Jayfeather sat in a pained silence, thinking of what to say. Finally, he spoke.

"Your right, I dont love you."

Cloudtail tryed to hide the hurt on his face and failed. "I know," he said miserably. "I shouldn't have told you," Cloudtail started to get up, but Jayfeather grabbed him by the sleeve.

"I don't love you, Cloudtail. But i could."

"Don't try to make me feel better, Jayfeather. It wont work," tears started brimming Cloudtails eyes.

"You don't get it," Jayfeather said. "I may not love you, and the only reason for that is because i forced myself not to. I never, _ever _thought u would like me. But i couldn't control my feelings entirely, well, i guess no one can. I want to be with you, Cloudtail. i want to hold your hand and make you happy more then anyone else. Id love to have you by my side, because id love you more then anyone in the world," Jayfeather choked out the last words. He couldn't believe he actually said it. Cloudtails eyes widened in surprise.

"You really mean that?" he whispered.

"With all my heart. I may not love you..."

"But i know you could," Cloudtail smiled, and Jayfeather felt like a million weights lift off his shoulders. He wasn't alone anymore, and it was the best feeling in the world.


	8. The Arrest

Lionblaze has a Shadow: Part 8. The Arrest

_this is such a stupid place_

_drawings written on my face_

_different socks and lovely stains_

_sickness running down the drains_

_last night was crazy_

_blurred and hazy_

_how did I end up here_

Hollyleaf dialled Lionblazes phone for the seventh time. It was 2 in the afternoon, and she still had no idea where he was. Jayfeather was easy to find, he was at home sleeping in his bed. Hollyleaf pretended to believe his story that no one came home with him last night. Hollyleaf had woken up at Ravenpaws apartment that he shared with Honeyfern and Berrynose. She was relieved the only thing out of the ordinary was that someone had painted her nails when she was sleeping. So far, everything was fine.

_But where is Lionblaze?_

Hollyleaf had called Firestar but he was about as helpful as a broken foot.

_I don't know where he is, check your house,_ was Firestars half asleep answer before he hung up. Hollyleaf decided to go wake up Jayfeather again. He woke up, annoyed and but not tired anymore after 11 hours of sleep.

"Lionblaze is fine," He mumbled. "He's probably at Brambleclaws or something."

"Well he's not, I already called there," Hollyleaf sighed. "This is serious, Jayfeather. What if something happened to him?" Hollyleaf choked. Jayfeather tried to look uncaring but his worry showed through it.

"I don't know where he is," Jayfeather said. "But I know he left with Firestar last night."

"I know that, you idiot. I called him but he had no idea what I was talking about."

"I know but-" Jayfeathers voice cut short when he heard the phone ring. Hollyleaf charged over and picked it up.

"Its... the police," she said, dumbfounded.

"Well answer it!" Jayfeather snapped.

"Hello?" Hollyleaf said. She sat listening for a few minutes, then hung up.

"Well? What did they want?" Jayfeather demanded. Hollyleaf gulped.

"They want 50,000$," she said at last. "Lionblaze was arrested."

Jayfeather felt tears welling into his eyes. He was at the city's jail, looking at his brother through a huge wall of glass. Lionblaze was wearing an orange jumpsuit, and he looked defeated. Jayfeather picked up the phone to talk to him and held it up to his ear. Lionblaze did the same.

"What the hell did you do," was the first thing Jayfeather said.

"They caught me with drugs," Lionblaze said quietly.

"Why? Don't you know how stupid it was to take them in the first place?"

"I didn't!" Lionblaze cried. "They were Brambleclaws, and somehow winded up in my pocket."

"So why didn't you tell the police that?" Jayfeather asked.

"I did, but they didn't believe me," Lionblaze said. "And now its gonna take 50,000 freaking dollars to get me out of here!" Lionblaze banged his fist on the glass in frustration. "You have to help me, Jayfeather.. please. I've been in here for one night and its already driving me up the wall. I cant stay in here for another 7 years!" Lionblaze wailed. Jayfeather sat quietly for a moment.

"I'll get you out of there," he said. "I promise." Jayfeather said goodbye and hung up the phone. When he got back to the car, he was expecting a zillion questions from Hollyleaf, but she didn't say anything.

"So.. what do we do," He said at last. "We do what any other person would do," Hollyleaf said at last. "We pay his bail."

"We're selling this," Hollyleaf pointed to Jayfeathers TV.

"What? No way, we can part with yours," Jayfeather said. Hollyleaf and Jayfeather were trying to find stuff to sell, to help Lionblaze. They had been at it for hours, but only had a few things that wasn't even worth a thousand dollars altogether.

"What if we sold the apartment," Hollyleaf said suddenly.

"What a great idea. Ive always wanted to live on the street," Jayfeather said sarcastically.

"Im serious, Jayfeather."

"Really? So am I."

Hollyleaf sighed. "We could just stay with friends for a bit. Unless your unwilling to help your brother." Jayfeather took his time answering.

"I guess that would work," He mumbled.

"Good. I'll call Ravenpaw and ask if we could bunk with him for a while, Hollyleaf exclaimed.

"Um... i think it would be best if we dont... live together," Jayfeather said painfully.

Hollyleafs face fell. "You dont want to?" she asked.

"Well, i dont know. I just think it would be best if we spent some time apart, you know. For Lionblazes sake."

"Well, fine." Hollyleaf snapped. "If you dont want to live together anymore, thats your own effing choice," Hollyleaf stormed out of the room.

Jayfeather groaned inwardly. Hollyleaf always had to take things in the wrong way, it felt like. Couldnt she see that it was unfair to Lionblaze? He was living without them, wasnt he?

"Hello?"

"Hey Cloudtail, Its Jayfeather," Jayfeather said, holding the phone to his ear.

"Oh hi! What's up?"

"I was wondering if I could... live with you for a while," before Cloudtail could reply, Jayfeather continued. "Lionblaze got arrested last night, and we're selling the apartment to help pay for his bail." There was a long pause.

"Oh. I thought for a second you wanted to live with me because you like to spend time with me. Haha," Cloudtail sounded hurt.

"Don't be like that," Jayfeather sighed.

"Be like what, Jayfeather? You're the one who keeps sending me mixed signals," Cloudtail snapped.

"Well, sorry. Maybe you just shouldn't take things so personally," Jayfeather didn't mean to sound harsh and failed.

"Sometimes, you know," Cloudtails voice wavered. "Sometimes I wish you could listen to yourself and how you talk to people. Your not a very nice person," Cloudtail hung up. Jayfeather was surprised how much it hurt. It was funny, but Cloudtail was right. He always did that, shove away emotion when he needed it most. He felt numb for a few more seconds, and then he started to cry. And he couldnt stop, even when Hollyleaf walked into the room again.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked. "if your that upset about what I said, I'm sorry. but seriously-"

"Im not crying about that!" Jayfeather sniffed and wiped his face on his sleeve, which made no difference whatsoever.

"Then what's your problem?"

"My problem is that I really screwed things up and I don't know how to fix them!" Jayfeather bawled. "Cloudtail is always nice and I'm always a jerk and I _try _to figure out why that is, but I don't _know!_ There's something wrong with me, and its hurting people I care about," Jayfeather finished. Hollyleaf sat in silence for a second.

"I don't think anything's wrong with you," she said.

"Well, your wrong."

"No, I'm not," Hollyleaf snapped. "Now stop whining and go apologize to Cloudtail." Hollyleaf knew for a fact that Jayfeather had never apologized for anything in his life.

"I cant."

"YES you CAN!" Hollyleaf yelled. "If Cloudtails really that important to you, I know you can do it."

Jayfeather stopped crying. "I know how much Cloudtail means to me," he said at last. "But he'll never understand. And no amount of apologies is ever going to fix that."

_I was stupid from the start_

_played the strings inside your heart _

_and made you think the way you do_

_and I truly believed it too_

_no one told me how it hurts_

_I don't know how it all works_

_I love you, why cant you see_

_cloudtail can you please forgive me_


	9. Crayons and Kisses

Lionblaze has a Shadow: Part 9. Crayons and Kisses

Knock knock knock

Jayfeather knocked on Cloudtails door until he answered.

"God, Jayfeather," Cloudtail snapped. "Could you be any more annoying?"

"I was mean and insensitive to you before," Jayfeather said. "I've been so stressed about my brother I took my anger out on you. You didn't deserve it and _I'm sorry,_" Jayfeather said. Cloudtail stared at him, without saying anything.

"Hollyleaf told me to think about what you mean to me and I have," Jayfeather continued. "I'm an idiot, I've been taking advantage of your niceness, I call you when its convenient for me and I'm shy and self conscious and so many repelling things that should make you not even look at me twice. But somehow, you look past all my problems, and no one has ever, _ever _done that. And at Firestars party when we said all those things to each other, I knew what I was saying wasn't true," Jayfeather felt his face going red and ignored it.

"You didn't mean it..?"

"No I didn't," Jayfeather took a deep breath and looked directly at Cloudtail. "I said I could love you one day, and I lied. I already did love you," Jayfeather said. "I was just scared to say it." Cloudtails angry expression started to change.

"I'm in love with you," Jayfeather said. "And I think I've been from the moment I saw you."

"Oh Jayfeather," Cloudtail smiled and Jayfeather forced himself not to look away. "I love you too."

Jayfeather couldn't believe he was going on a date tonight - with _Cloudtail. _The whole thing seemed unreal. And now that all the novelty had worn off, Jayfeather was scared. He didn't know what to do, talk about or wear. _And what if people look at us funny?_ Jayfeather gulped. He knew it was wrong to feel embarrassed or judged, but simply not caring was way too difficult. Jayfeather paced his room and sifted through all his clothes. _Its all so unfashionable! _Jayfeather groaned. Hollyleaf went on dates all the time, and she made it look so _easy._ He would have asked her what she would do but she was at the jail, visiting Lionblaze. She had gone to tell him about selling the apartment. Jayfeather pulled out his phone and texted her.

_I'm going to dinner with Cloudtail and I'm so nervous I think I'm going to have a heart attack. _

Hollyleafs reply came a few minutes later, with a picture attached. _Don't worry, you'll be fine! Oh and Lionblaze says to wear something out of his closet because all your clothes are dorky. _Jayfeather opened the picture to see Hollyleaf and Lionblaze smiling, Lionblaze giving the thumbs up sign behind the glass. Jayfeather looked through his brothers closet and found a half-decent shirt. It would have to do, Jayfeather thought. Cloudtail would be here any minute. Jayfeather sat on the couch and smoked a cigarette to try and calm his nerves. It worked for about six minutes and then his anxiety got worse. Jayfeather didn't know what to do, so he turned on the TV and tried to watch it. This didn't work either. Finally, after 10 awfully long minutes he heard the doorbell ring. Jayfeather jogged over to the door then stopped when he realized he was _jogging. _Shaking his head in disgust he opened the door. Cloudtails pretty face lit up when he saw him.

"You look nice," Jayfeather said, noticing that Cloudtail had straightened his hair and everything.

"So do you," Cloudtail smiled kindly at him. "Where do you want to go?"

"Wherever you want," Jayfeather said, afraid of saying something dumb.

"We could go to Boston Pizza."

"Yeah sure," Jayfeather agreed absentmindedly, distracted by Cloudtails pants, which looked like something Hollyleaf would wear. Jayfeather got into Cloudtails car and made a big show of clipping his seatbelt so he wouldn't have to say anything. They drove in silence for the entire way. When they got out of the car, Jayfeather looked around at all the people standing there, and nearly had a panic attack. They were everywhere, eyes hungrily searching for the un-ordinary, desperate to make judgements. Jayfeather noticed Cloudtail looked slightly uncomfortable too, making Jayfeather relax a little. They walked into the restaurant, and the waitress asked them if they wanted a table in the kids or bar section.

"Kids, obviously. And I want crayons too," Cloudtail said, making Jayfeather laugh. The waitress looked at them weirdly before turning to lead the way to their table. Cloudtail flipped over his menu and exclaimed that he'd rather eat at places with pictures of the food on the menus.

"I mean, its awkward ordering food when you don't know what it looks like. Its like, kind of disgusting when you order a hamburger and then they throw a play-doh looking thing that slightly resembles a hamburger onto your plate," Cloudtail said as he colored in a picture of a sun with his crayons.

"You don't like surprises, I take it?" Jayfeather said.

"Not when it involves food," Cloudtail sighed. "If I told you about my bad restaurant experiences we'd be here all night."

"Well I've had my share of those too," Jayfeather rolled his eyes as he thought about the time Lionblaze made a huge scene when he dropped his cheeseburger. He wished he didn't think about it though, because thinking about Lionblaze made him feel sad. It must have shown because Cloudtail noticed right away.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Its nothing. I just feel bad for Lionblaze, all alone and bored," Jayfeather sighed. "I just wish I had enough money to help him."

"Aw well, its sweet that your thinking about him. He'll be fine though, with all of us helping pay his bail," Cloudtail took Jayfeathers hand across the table and Jayfeathers heart leapt into his chest and he nearly forgot what they were talking about.

"What do you mean, all of us? Its just me and Hollyleaf," Jayfeather stammered.

"Yeah, and me and Ravenpaw, Honeyfern, Berrynose... Lionblaze has a lot of friends, you know. I asked them if they'd like to help they said yes right away."

"That's so... nice," Jayfeather said. "Thank you."

"No problem, my dear. We've almost got 12,000$ so far."

Jayfeather nearly spat out his iced tea that he was drinking. "What?"

"I know its not much, but it should help," Cloudtail shrugged.

"That's... a lot of money," was all Jayfeather could say. Then he noticed the waitress walking towards him. Cloudtail must of sensed Jayfeathers awkwardness and held his hand tighter so he wouldn't let go. The waitress stared at them for a solid 10 seconds before asking them what they would like to order. Cloudtail ordered a salad and Jayfeather got spaghetti. The waitress wrote the order down, her eyes glued to their touching hands. Finally she left, and surprisingly, Jayfeather wasn't embarrassed at all.

"That bitch," he said. "Did you see the way she was looking at us?" Cloudtail mocked her horrified stare then laughed.

"She was probably just jealous."

"That kind of stuff seriously doesn't bother you?" Jayfeather asked.

"Not when I'm with you," Cloudtail said. "Your nothing to be embarrassed about."

Jayfeather felt his face go up in flames. "Well, thanks. Next time if she comes over here, im going to give her a piece of my mind."

"Ooh I'll help!" Cloudtail actually looked excited about it. The waitress returned about ten minutes later.

"Here you go," she said disgustedly at them.

"Thank you for my meal, you selfless bitch," Cloudtail said brightly.

"Excuse me?" She glared at him.

"We're gay, dipshit. Not blind. We see the way you look at us, and its hurtful," Jayfeather said. The waitress looked like she was at a loss for words.

"So, you can go away now," Cloudtail finished rudely. The waitress turned around and walked away without saying anything. Cloudtail smiled at Jayfeather.

"You didn't even look awkward or embarrassed."

"Its involuntary when I do," Jayfeather said. "My emotions always rage out of control."

"Its cute," Cloudtail said as he took a bite of his salad. "Your face turns all red, and you get all flustered."

"Well its not my fault. And jeez, stop doing that. Its not funny," Jayfeather said. Cloudtail was mimicking Jayfeathers awkward expression that he made at least once every 20 minutes. Cloudtail inaudibly mumbled something and picked his nails.

"That's not funny either!" Jayfeather did that all the time too, so he rested his chin on his hands and batted his eyes at Cloudtail. "Can I get you a drink?" he asked sweetly. Cloudtail stopped his impressions at once.

"I do _not _sound like that!" he exclaimed.

"You do sometimes, and it reminds me of a high school girl."

"Well you remind me of a frightened deer standing in the middle of the road!" This went on for another fifteen minutes. Then they got kicked out, because Cloudtail flung piece of garlic bread behind him and it hit someone in the back of the head. No one would have known who threw it too, if Jayfeather hadn't started choking on a meatball because he was laughing so hard.

Cloudtails car pulled up into the parking lot next to Jayfeathers apartment.

"Tonight was fun," Jayfeather said.

"Yeah," Cloudtail said as he put the car into park.

"Can I call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah I'd like that," Jayfeather undid his seatbelt and then suddenly felt ridiculously awkward.

"Im going to miss you," Cloudtail said.

"I'll miss you too," Jayfeather leaned over and kissed Cloudtail quickly on the lips. "I love you," he said, then scrambled out of the car as fast as he possibly could. When he walked into his house, his heart was beating a mile a second and he was so happy he felt overwhelmed. Hollyleaf was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine. She glanced over at her brother.

"I was wondering why it was taking you so long to get out of the car, so I looked out the window," Hollyleaf flipped a page over. "That's one mistake I'll never make again."

"Oh be quiet," Jayfeather grinned.

"Your acting like you don't care what anyone thinks," Hollyleaf said approvingly. "Its so much easier to talk to you when your like this."

"I know," Jayfeather said, looking out the window as Cloudtail drove away. "That's why I stopped caring."


	10. The Difference

Lionblaze has a Shadow

Part 10 : The Difference

"This is unacceptable," Jayfeather snapped. Hollyleaf had raided his wallet again, leaving nothing but pennies and one measly nickel. Lionblaze sat beside him, and nodded his agreement.

This was his first day back at home, Hollyleaf and Jayfeather had finally saved enough money to pay his bail. He was insanely happy to be out of his cell, and he had a good reason for it too. They were going to pair him up in Clawfaces, and Lionblaze had send a letter of desperation to Jayfeather saying he was going to be sharing a room with a registered sex offender. Anyways, paying all that money had left them broke, and today was the day they were selling their apartment.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with me and Hollyleaf?" Lionblaze asked. Jayfeather folded another shirt and put it in his suitcase.

"It's fine. I already told Cloudtail I was going to stay with him," he mumbled, hastily folding more of his clothes so he wouldn't have to look up at his brother.

"Are you guys gonna do the dirty?"

"Lionblaze!" Jayfeathers face turned so red it looked nearly purple. "Don't talk like that."

"Why not? Your probably thinking it anyway," Lionblaze teased.

"I am not."

"Oh really? So what if Cloudtail made a move? What would happen then?"

Jayfeather stopped folding. "I don't know," he said. "I seriously don't."

"Well you better get it together. If your gonna be living with him you have to consider all the perks."

"Jeez Lionblaze, why do you talk like this," Jayfeather sighed.

"Because you freak out so easily. Are you guys going to share a bed and all that?" Lionblaze continued.

"Well... well... I don't know!" Jayfeather cried, throwing his half folded clothes into the suitcase. "Maybe it would be more appropriate if I slept on the couch."

"Oh yeah. Cloudtail will get the idea that you think he's contagious."

"He will _not!_ He understands how I feel."

"Maybe you should start feeling the need to lose your awkwardness over every little thing," Lionblaze stood up and started walking towards the door. "I'm serious, Jayfeather. Awkwardness is so not attractive," then he left, leaving Jayfeather with the thoughts Lionblaze had forced him to think about. Jayfeather realized he was embarrassed just thinking about it.

_How am I going to be able to do anything if I can't even handle the thought of it?_

Jayfeather was surprised at what a nice house Cloudtail had. It was beautiful, white bricks and his lawn was so green it looked nearly unnatural. He lived by himself, yet he had four bedrooms. There was a flat screen TV in the living room, and the comfiest couches Jayfeather had ever sat on in his entire life. The bathtub was made of marble, and there was a hot tub outside under the deck.

"It's not that special," Cloudtail scoffed when Jayfeather commented on how nice the house was. "It's quite boring, actually. I get lonely a lot."

"Well you have me now," Jayfeather said. "You don't have to be lonely anymore."

Cloudtail smiled happily. "Yeah. How long are you planning on staying?"

"How long am I allowed?" Jayfeather asked. Cloudtail pretended to think about it.

"Um, as long as you like? Until you get bored of me," he said, and helped grab Jayfeathers bags and carry them into the house. They walked down the hall, and Cloudtail opened one of the many doors lined against the wall. It was a pleasant looking room with a king sized bed and a TV bigger then the one in the living room.

"This will be your room," Cloudtail said. Jayfeather nodded, half relieved and half disappointed they wouldn't be sharing a room together. Cloudtail must have noticed Jayfeathers disappointment, and his face fell.

"You don't like it?" he asked.

"No, it's great. Thank you," Jayfeather forced himself to smile. "I'm going to get things set up now."

Cloudtail looked at him for a second longer. "Okay. I'll see you in a bit," and then he walked out. Jayfeather sat down at the end of the massive bed and didn't understand why he felt so alone. He was with Cloudtail, wasn't he? If anything, he should feel overwhelmed at how this had all turned out so well for him.

_So why do I feel so empty?_

Hollyleaf threw all her bags on the floor of her temporary home with Hawkfrost and Mothwing. The floorboards creaked under the weight of the suitcases. Hollyleaf looked around the room and tried to ignore the peeling wallpaper and the burnt out lightbulb. Lionblaze walked in shortly after, and Hollyleaf could tell he was trying to ignore the rooms features too.

"Well, it's nice the room is insured," he said at last. "At least we won't have to worry about anyone breaking in."

"As if anyone would want to," Hollyleaf muttered. She sat down on the bed and it nearly snapped in half.

"It may be a bit ... rusty," Hollyleaf said as Lionblaze tried to flip the light on and succeeded in breaking the switch off.

"We should have gone with Jayfeather," Lionblaze said. "He's probably got it made over at Cloudtails."

Hollyleaf snorted. "I bet he does." she sat up off the bed and it made a painful groaning noise.

"The bed has obviously been here for a while. I guess I'll always know if you have a girl over."

Lionblaze scowled. "Don't be silly. I haven't had a girlfriend since the Heatherpaw incident."

"So go find someone."

"It's not that simple! It's easy for you because your pretty and you're a girl."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Hollyleaf scowled. "No one but Ravenpaw has actually shown any interest in a relationship, like ever."

Lionblaze smiled. "So I guess you and me aren't that different after all."

Jayfeather self consciously flattened his hair while Cloudtail flipped through the channels on the TV. The day had gone well, relatively. They had talked normally, just like Jayfeather would with his friends. And that was the problem. Jayfeather didn't know if that's what Cloudtail wanted or not, friends or more? It was all so confusing and Jayfeather found his mind spinning with confusion more then usual.

"What do you want to watch?" Cloudtail suddenly asked, breaking Jayfeathers train of thought.

"There's nothing on."

"It doesn't matter to me," Jayfeather said.

"Can I at least get an opinion?" Cloudtail grinned, and Jayfeather turned red.

"Why are you getting embarrassed?" Cloudtail asked. "I'm asking you to pick a TV show, not take your clothes off."

Jayfeathers face turned into a more intense shade of red. "Put on Misery," he mumbled. Misery was an old movie about a crazed woman who keeps her favorite author hostage in her house.

"See? Was that so difficult?"

"Yes."

"Take off your clothes."

"What?"

"Just kidding."


	11. Lionblaze and the Pickles

Lionblaze has a Shadow

Part 11 : Lionblaze and the Pickles

"I am sick and tired of you smoking in the house," Hawkfrost smacked the cigarette out of Lionblazes mouth, causing it to ash all over the carpet.

"I'm in my room," Lionblaze retorted. "You said it would be fine if I smoked in here."

This was the third time Hawkfrost had freaked out about it today.

"Well I can still smell it from the kitchen," Hawkfrost huffed.

"Then close the freaking door."

"Why don't you act more like your sister?" Hawkfrost said. "_She_ has the decency to smoke outside."

Lionblaze knew for a fact that was a lie. He had walked in on Hollyleaf smoking so many times he lost count.

"Don't do it anymore," Hawkfrost stalked out of the room. Lionblaze sat there for a minute and purposely let the smoke burn into the carpet some more. Then he laughed as he heard Hawkfrost giving the same rant to Hollyleaf. A few minutes later, she stalked into his room.

"Hawkfrost is being retarded," she said. "He's not making any freaking sense, I mean for gods sake he smokes in the house too."

Lionblaze snorted. "What an idiot."

"I know. But anyways, what are we doing tonight? It's almost 6 and we still don't have any plans," Hollyleaf said.

"You could make dinner for a change."

"I did last night, remember?"

"You microwaved a can of soup."

"I made toast too."

"And it burned and nearly set the toaster on fire."

"Okay, I am so done arguing this," Hollyleaf snapped. "Do you want to go to Catianas?"

Lionblaze thought about it for a minute. "Only if we don't bring Hawkfrost. I don't care if Mothwing comes," he said in conclusion.

"Okay awesome. Let's go right now, I'm starving," Hollyleaf pulled her keys out of her pocket."I'll go start the car," she said before she left the room. Lionblaze looked around his room and picked up a sweater. Pulling it on, he walked out of his room and into the living room to find his shoes. Hawkfrost was sitting there, flipping through a magazine. As he was pulling on his shoes, Hawkfrost spoke.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Me and Hollyleaf are going to Catianas," Lionblaze replied.

"Oh," Hawkfrost said sniffily. "And I suppose my invitation got lost in the mail?"

"Um, did you want to come?" Lionblaze said awkwardly.

"No," Hawkfrost snapped.

_Then what the hell are you complaining about?_ Lionblaze thought irritably as he walked outside. He pulled on his sweater, noticing it was uncomfortably tight. Looking down, he realized it was Hollyleafs sweater. He snapped his head, looking to see if he could make a run for it back to the apartment without Hollyleaf noticing. She was laughing, and Lionblaze groaned inwardly and trudged forward towards the car.

"I like your sweater," Hollyleaf giggled as he opened the door to the car. "It looks like something I would wear."

"Oh be quiet," Lionblaze mumbled. "I didn't realize who's it was."

"Obviously."

"I want the salsbury steak," Lionblaze decided. Hollyleaf snorted.

"Okay. And I suppose your gonna pull the 35$ out of your ass to pay for it?"

Lionblazes face fell. "But I really wanted steak," he said.

"Get a hamburger."

"I don't want a hamburger!" Lionblaze whined. "All I ever eat is hamburgers, hamburgers, hamburgers!"

Hollyleaf laughed. "You are such an overreacter, Lionblaze."

"Why? Because I'm tired of my diet only consisting of goddamn hamburgers?" Lionblaze shut his menu aggressively just as the waiter shower up.

"What can I get for you this evening?" he asked.

"I'll have the chicken club sandwich," Hollyleaf ordered.

"And for you?" the waiter looked over at Lionblaze.

"I'll have a hamburger."

"What the hell Lionblaze!" Hollyleaf glared at him. "You were just complaining you didn't want one!"

"I changed my mind," Lionblaze mumbled.

"Jeez," Hollyleaf shook her head and passed the waiter the menus back. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, Lionblaze avoiding his sisters irritated expression. Then when she looked up, her face changed.

"What?" Lionblaze said.

"Jayfeathers over there," Hollyleaf whispered. "With Cloudtail."

"Why are you whispering?" Lionblaze said twice as loud as necessary.

"Sh!" Hollyleaf hissed. "If he sees us he'll probably get embarrassed and want to leave," Hollyleaf sunk low in her seat. "Let's just be real quiet. He probably won't notice us anyway." Lionblaze accidently dropped his fork on the floor, making a loud clanging noise. Hollyleaf glared at him.

"Stop that," she said.

"It was an accident!" Lionblaze whined. He snuck a look over at Jayfeathers table. They hadn't noticed, by the looks of it.

"Pass me one of your bread sticks," Lionblaze said.

"Why?" Hollyleaf said. "You ate all yours and you're not having mine."

"I want to throw something at Jayfeather. I wish we had some meatballs or something."

"Even if we had some _meatballs_ you wouldn't throw them! For gods sake Lionblaze, behave yourself." Hollyleaf snapped. Lionblaze sat dejectedly for a moment, then he smiled again.

"Guess how much iced tea I can consume in one swallow," he said, making Hollyleaf roll her eyes. Lionblaze took such a big chug of his iced tea it looked like it was going to start coming out his nose.

Hollyleaf giggled. "Okay it's kind of funny." Lionblaze started attempting to swallow it, and then a look of panic crossed over his face.

"What? Just swallow it!" Hollyleaf said. Lionblaze gave a few more frantic hand motions before spitting it all back in the glass.

"What the hell, Lionblaze."

"I don't know what happened," Lionblaze sighed. "But it wouldn't go down." Hollyleaf started to say something, but then stopped when she noticed the waiter walking up with their food.

"Can I get you anything else this evening?" he asked.

"Bring me a chilled beverage, and bury my wife if you could," Lionblaze said in a fake British accent. Hollyleaf snorted. The waiter just glared at him.

"I'm kidding. I'd like some more iced tea," Lionblaze held up his cup.

"You still have an entire cup," the waiter pointed out.

"I know that. But half of its already been in my mouth."

The waiter picked up the cup disgustedly and walked away. Hollyleaf sat enjoying her sandwich, until she looked over at Lionblaze, who had spread the contents of his hamburger across his plate.

"By the way, you eat it all together in the form of a sandwich," Hollyleaf said flatly.

"I know that," Lionblaze said. "I was just taking out the pickles because I don't like them." Lionblaze put his hamburger back together again, and took a bite.

"It's really good," he said through a mouthful of food. Lionblaze ate in silence for a few minutes, then picked up a pickle.

"Don't even think about it," Hollyleaf said, knowing that Lionblaze wanted to throw it.

Lionblaze whipped it behind his shoulder.

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?" Hollyleaf yelled, forgetting that she was supposed to be quiet.

"I'm sorry," Lionblaze laughed. "I won't do it anymore, I swear."

Hollyleaf was distracted by the stomping footsteps that seemed to be getting louder. She looked up and noticed someone angrily making their way over to their table.

"Excuse me," he growled. "Is this your pickle?"

Lionblaze examined it closely. "It was. You can have it though," he said. The person glared at him.

"It really pisses me off," he started yelling. "When a pickle flies through the roof and lands in my root beer!"

Hollyleaf snuck a glance over to Jayfeathers table to see if he noticed. He did, his face was red and he was deliberately facing the other direction.

"I didn't mean for it to land in your direction," Lionblaze said meekly. The man threw the pickle into Lionblazes iced tea and walked away.

"That was a brand new glass," Lionblaze said angrily. Hollyleaf had a sinking feeling she knew what he was going to do. Lionblaze picked up his drink and Hollyleaf knew she couldn't stop him. He pitched it over his shoulder like he had done with the pickle, a beautiful rainbow of iced tea flying behind him.

"Meet you at the car," Hollyleaf mouthed the words and bolted out of her seat to the door, Lionblaze close behind.


	12. Vote

Lionblaze has a Shadow 

Voting on the next part of my screwed up story.

**Hello everyone, and kudos to you for getting all the way to chapter 12! I've had a writers block for like the past two weeks, and it **_**sucks.**_** So my Lionblaze fans, id really appreciate it if you could vote for the part you find the most interesting, and I promise I'll write about it. And if I get a writers block I'll just get really high and see what my mind conjures up then.**

**Just kidding.**

_**Anyways, here are the choices I have decided on.**_

1. Lionblaze gets a job at a high school (yes, I'm aware there are already tons of these out there) and Dovewing is one of his students. He starts noticing she follows him around a lot, and she notices that he gives her more attention then the rest of the girls in her class. And to answer the question that your probably thinking about, Lionblaze is not a gross old pervert. So don't go thinking that.

2. Cloudtail starts having a problem with Jayfeathers reluctance to show any affection.

3. Lionblaze meets Heatherpaw again, and she wants to get back together... leading up to a very awkward scenario which I'll probably have an awkward time writing. Im no good at intimate scenes if you haven't noticed already.

4. Hollyleaf gets set up on a blind date with Scourge. We'll worry about Ravenpaw later.

5. More compromising photos appear on Firestars website with Jayfeather, but no one knows how they got there.

**And that's it! Vote on your favorite!**

_Also on the other hand, who's the most interesting to read about in my story? Hollyleaf, Jayfeather or Lionblaze... if you could tell me that too when you vote that would be freaking great._

**Thank you my dears!**


	13. Resention Convention

**Lionblaze has a Shadow **

**Part 13 : Resention Convention**

"Why am I always so comprehended?" Lionblaze wailed. Hollyleaf rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed.

"I'm not _comprehending _you," she sighed. "I'm just confused why you deliberately stomped on my grilled cheese."

"I didn't!" Lionblaze cried. "It was an accident for crying out loud!"

Hollyleaf resentfully threw her stepped on sandwich in the garbage. "Well if it was so _accidental, _then you can _accidently _make me a new one."

"BUT THERE IS NO MORE CHEESE!" Lionblaze yelled/whined.

"OH THAT'S SUCH A SURPRISE!"

"HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO MAKE A GRILLED CHEESE WITH NO CHEESE?"

"AW JEEZ I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE GO BUY SOME?" Hollyleaf shouted as loud as she could. Lionblaze took an exceptionally large breath to shout back, but stopped when he realized Hawkfrost had walked in with a disgusted look on his face.

"Are you aware I could hear you halfway down the street?" he snapped.

"Hollyleaf was shouting at me," Lionblaze said.

"I was not!" Hollyleaf screeched.

"Your hurting my feelings and creating a hostile environment for Hawkfrost," Lionblaze retorted, making Hollyleaf storm out of the room. After she was gone, Lionblaze stood there for a moment wondering why Hawkfrost was just standing there staring at him.

"Um, can I help you?" Lionblaze said at last.

"No," Hawkfrost snapped, then stormed his way out of the kitchen. Lionblaze watched him angrily stomping his feet.

_He's so freaking weird. _

**Meanwhile...**

Jayfeather couldn't figure out where all the glitter came from. It was on the table, up the walls, even in the sink. Jayfeather walked around the house, then rolled his eyes when he found the source of the problem. There was a huge statue of a cat sitting on the dining room table, completely covered in green glitter. Jayfeather remembered seeing the thing last week at a thrift shop. He also remembered inwardly hoping that Cloudtail wouldn't see it, because he knew he would buy it. Suddenly a pair of cold hands covered his eyes, tearing Jayfeather from his thoughts.

"Guess who," he heard Cloudtail say.

"Firestar?" Jayfeather joked. Cloudtail let go of his face and Jayfeather turned around to look at him. "So how was shopping?" he asked. Cloudtail was holding some plastic shopping bags, and to Jayfeathers dismay he didn't see a fruit loops box sticking out of one.

"I got stuff for dinner," Cloudtail replied, pulling out a box of hamburger helper.

"I love hamburger helper!" Jayfeather grinned.

"That's why I bought it," Cloudtail said, then leaned over close to Jayfeathers face. Jayfeather nearly had a heart attack. He hadn't kissed Cloudtail since that spontaneous moment in his car a few weeks ago. At the very last second, in that moment where Cloudtail was so close he could feel his breath on his face, Jayfeather ducked down to tie his shoe.

"These stupid things are always coming untied," Jayfeather mumbled. Cloudtail stood there looking at him for a few more seconds.

"I bet they do," he said at last, then proceeded to the kitchen with his food. When he was gone, Jayfeather collapsed backwards onto the couch, mentally swearing at himself for his awkwardness. He lay there fuming for a few minutes, and looked up when Cloudtails head poked out of the kitchen door.

"Did you see the statue?" he asked.

"It was kind of hard to miss."

"I know right! I saw it in a window today, and just had to buy it!" Cloudtail said happily. "Do you like it?"

"Yes," Jayfeather lied. Cloudtail grinned even harder. "You're such a bad liar," he sang, before going back into the kitchen. Jayfeather noticed that his heartbeat was going triple the speed it was earlier. _Do I seriously get this flustered by just talking to him?_ Jayfeather thought, frustrated. He did some breathing exercises to calm himself down, and they did nothing but make him even more anxious. Abandoning his breathing exercise, he pulled out a cigarette. _If this doesn't work, then im gonna hit something, _Jayfeather took a big puff off the smoke and blew it out his nose. When he was about halfway done it, Jayfeather was very relieved to find that his heart rate had gone down.

"You did a really good job," Jayfeather stuck the last bit of pasta in his mouth. "You cook _way_ better then Hollyleaf ever did."

"Well I sure hope so. She kinda sucked," Cloudtail replied. Jayfeathers eyes drifted over to the green cat statue, wishing that Cloudtail would move it somewhere else.

"Did you want anything else to eat?" Cloudtail asked as he got up from the table.

"No thanks," Jayfeather got up from the table with his plate too. When he put it in the sink, for the first time that day he noticed the bottle of wine sitting on the counter. "Did you get this today?" Jayfeather asked.

"What?" Cloudtail turned around. "Oh, that. Yeah I bought it when I was in town."

"Did you buy the lightest one in the store?" Jayfeather said after he read the 2% alcohol content label.

"I like the taste of it!" Cloudtail said defensively.

"I bet I'll be falling over after one sip of this," Jayfeather said sarcastically.

"You're so cute when you think your witty," Cloudtail shot back.

"You're so cute with soap in your hair," Jayfeather was on a roll.

"That doesn't even make sense-" Cloudtail reached up and touched his hair. "Oh," he said when he found the soap.

"Told you so."

"Jayfeather, why are you so reluctant to be around me?" Cloudtail suddenly asked. Jayfeathers face turned red. "What do you mean," he muttered.

"What I mean is I can't even talk to you without your face going red or you getting flustered over nothing," Cloudtail said.

"I'm just an awkward person," Jayfeather mumbled.

"You just need to relax," Cloudtail said. "Just _stop caring." _

"But I care about you."

"I mean stop caring about how you act in front of me."

"I can't! Jayfeather cried. "Your just so goddamn attractive!"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I look at you and forget what I was thinking about and worry I'll mess things up and ugh I don't know it's hard to explain," Jayfeather said miserably.

"You're so incredibly sexy," Cloudtail said. "I fucking love you. The things I would do to you if you'd let me..." Cloudtails voice trailed off as he realized what he had said. "I didn't mean to say that," he grinned. "But I did, right? And look - I'm not getting embarrassed." Jayfeather didn't say anything.

"I love you Jayfeather, and I know you love me. Why are you so determined not to make a commitment to me?"

"Because I'm a virgin," Jayfeather said in a more miserable voice than before.

"And your point?"

"The point is, that I don't know what the heck I'm doing when it comes to that kind of stuff!"

Cloudtail sat there thinking for a minute. "Don't look so sad," he said when he saw Jayfeathers face.

"I'll be sad if I like!" Jayfeather said.

"I've been with a lot of people, and I know how you feel."

"How could you possibly know what I feel? You're the exact opposite of me," Jayfeather got up from the couch. "I'm going to watch TV in my room for a bit. _Goodnight,_" Jayfeather stomped out of the room. Cloudtail sighed and got up to pour himself a glass of wine. He could here Jayfeathers TV flipping through the channels, he obviously didn't know what to watch. He could hear him coughing too, it sounded as if he had a cold. Cloudtail poured a cup of juice and picked up a movie that was sitting on the table that he had rented a few days ago. He carried them to Jayfeathers room, and quietly opened the door. Jayfeathers head shot up, surprised to see him. "Here," Cloudtail gave the juice to him. "You're throat must be sore, I can hear you hacking from the other room. And I don't know if you like Criminal Minds, but it'll give you something to do," Cloudtail handed the movie to Jayfeather, then walked out of the room.

Lionblaze chucked three cans of beans into his cart. They bounced off the milk jug and landed on the carton of eggs. Lionblaze thought he heard some cracking but didn't care. Eggs were supposed to come out of their shell anyway. Lionblaze hated shopping, because everything was so confusing. There were like six brands of eight varieties of four different companies. Lionblaze picked up a can of _Chunky Peanut butter _and _Peanut Butter: Chunky_ and carried them over to a depressed looking kid stocking a shelf.

"Ahem," Lionblaze cleared his throat. The kid looked over at him. "What?"

"I was wondering if you could explain to me the difference between these jars of peanut butter," Lionblaze held out the jars. The kid looked at Lionblaze like he was retarded.

"Dude, it's the same freaking thing."

"Why are they in different packaging then?" Lionblaze asked. The kid just rolled his eyes and walked away.

_Not very good customer service,_ Lionblaze thought. He threw both the jars into the cart to save himself the work of choosing one. He looked down at the next item on the list, which was a watermelon. This was the first thing that Lionblaze knew where it was located, so he charged the cart as fast as he could. He rammed a table of cakes over and accidently ran over a card display on his way there. Lionblaze picked up the first melon he saw and crunched it in the cart right over top of the cereal boxes. _Im done! Finally!_ Lionblaze walked over to the checkout stand and started unloading all his stuff. He accidently dropped the watermelon though, and it splattered all over the floor. The cashier glared at Lionblaze as he kicked it all under the chocolate bar stand. After everything was paid for, it took Lionblaze half an hour to realize that he had forgotten to buy more cheese.


	14. Goddamn Heatherpaw

Lionblaze has a Shadow

Part 14 : Goddamn Heatherpaw

It was 12:30 in the morning, and Jayfeather was wide awake. Quietly, he walked through his dark house, eyes squinting into the black. When he reached the door, he stopped, and took a deep breath to ready himself. Slowly, he opened the door, flinching when it squeaked. He looked at him, hair all messed up from sleeping, and snoring like a chainsaw. Jayfeather crept toward him, and right when he was about an foot away, he opened his mouth to draw in another breath.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLOUDTAIL!" Jayfeather shouted at the top of his lungs. Cloudtail shrieked and sat up, holding his heart as if he was about to have a panic attack.

"Jeez Jayfeather!" he said. "You scared me."

Jayfeather walked over and sat down on the bed next to him. "I wanted to be the first one to say happy birthday to you," he explained.

"Thank you," Cloudtail smiled. "That was very sweet of you."

"What did you want to do today?" Jayfeather asked. "Anything you want."

Cloudtail combed his fingers through his tangled hair as he thought about it. "I'm not sure," he said at last. "You can come and cuddle with me though," he said, smiling at Jayfeather. Jayfeather stiffened, frozen for a second.

_Is this a test?_

Jayfeather took off his socks and crawled under the covers. Cloudtail looked undoubtably surprised. Jayfeather forced all his embarrassment to the back of his mind, and snuggled close next to him, putting his arm around his chest. They were so close, Jayfeather was sure Cloudtail must be able to hear his heart pounding. But if he did, he showed no sign of it. They laid there in each others arms for a long time, and before Jayfeather noticed, he was asleep.

- meanwhile

Lionblaze looked at himself in the mirror, happy to see that his hair was getting longer again. It was such a mistake letting Hollyleaf cut his hair for him, she might as well had just shaved it all off.

_Ring Ring_

Lionblaze pulled out his cell phone to see who was calling him.

_Restricted number. _

Lionblaze prayed it wasn't the RCMP when he answered it. "Hello?" he said nervously.

"Hey, Lionblaze."

Lionblaze stopped cold at the sound of Heatherpaws voice.

"Lionblaze?"

"Why are you calling me?" he choked.

"I miss you," was her reply. Lionblaze inwardly groaned. "Well I don't miss you," he lied.

"Sure you do," she giggled. "Come and meet me."

"NO THANK YOU!" Lionblaze hung up the phone and jammed it back in his pocket.

_Jeez._

Lionblaze shook his head in disgust as he proceeded down the stairs to make a ham sandwich. As he was buttering a piece of bread, he felt his phone vibrate again. _Goddamn Heatherpaw! _Lionblaze snapped his phone open. "Yeah?" he snapped.

"What's your problem?" Jayfeathers voice sounded confused. Lionblaze mentally kicked himself. "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. What's up?"

"I don't know what to get Cloudtail for his birthday," Jayfeather sounded exasperated.

"Give him a can of whip cream and wink seductively at him."

"Lionblaze for gods sake!"

Lionblaze giggled.

"This is serious," Jayfeather said. "The day is almost halfway over and I still haven't done anything yet!"

"Well, if you can't think of anything during the day maybe something will cross your mind at night. Cough."

Jayfeather hung up the phone, which was unsurprising. Lionblaze put his phone back into his pocket and continued spreading butter on his sandwich. When he was in the middle of putting on the top slice of bread, the doorbell rang.

_If its Heatherpaw I'm going to scream._

Lionblaze threw the door open and groaned. "What are you doing here?" he said resentfully.

"I wanted to see you," Heatherpaw said. "And to tell you I'm sorry for the way I ended things between us."

Lionblaze scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah. I guess that could've gone better."

"But I'm okay now!" she smiled. "I went to rehab and now I'm better!"

"Wait what?"

"I'm not addicted to cocaine anymore," she said pleasantly.

"I didn't even know you did it," Lionblaze said, dumbfounded.

"Well the point is that I don't anymore, and we can be together again! Just like we used to," she wrapped her arms around Lionblazes neck. Lionblaze tried to back away, wishing he had never opened the damn door.

"I love you, Lionblaze," she whispered, then kissed him smack on the lips. Lionblaze tried to yank his face away, but she had an iron grip. He could hear someone whistling at them in the distance, and he thought about how much he would rather be eating his ham sandwich. Finally she pulled away, and Lionblaze coughed awkwardly. "Um, you know it's not going to be like it used to," he said. "I mean for crying out loud, you just ended our whole relationship in a three minute phone call! And then I don't hear from you for like a year, and now _here you are!_ Kissing me and telling me you love me, it's just not right!"

Heatherpaw looked crestfallen. "I said I was sorry," she said quietly.

"Well, sorry doesn't really make me feel any better! You didn't even tell me you had a cocaine problem, and you know I could have helped you."

Tears were beginning to well in Heatherpaws eyes. "I thought you would have hated me," she sniffed. "That's why I went to rehab so I could get better! That's why I had to break up with you, because I had to fly halfway across the freaking world, just so I could sit in a locked room all goddamn day!" Heatherpaw said, her voice getting louder. "I did it for you!"

"I'm so... confused," Lionblaze admitted.

"Please just give me another chance," Heatherpaw pleaded. "I promise I won't be stupid anymore, I swear it."

When Lionblaze looked skeptical, she continued. "You were all I could think about when I was in rehab, Lionblaze! You're what kept me going..."

Silence enfolded over them as Lionblaze thought about it. "Fine," he said at last. "We can try again."

Heatherpaw smiled widely and hugged Lionblaze. "Thank you," she whispered. "I promise you won't regret this."

"I had such a great day!" Cloudtail exclaimed happily. Jayfeather smiled. "That's good," he said. "Even though we didn't do much."

"Oh we did lots," Cloudtail argued. "I'm looking forward to going to sleep, I'm so exhausted."

Jayfeather nodded, tired too. He leaned his head back on the couch, and tilted it towards Cloudtail. "I love you," he said. Cloudtail looked back at him, and smiled. "I love you too, Jayfeather."

Jayfeather stretched and stood up. "I'm going to go to bed," he said. Then he leaned down and kissed Cloudtail, who widened his eyes in surprise.

"Sleep well," Jayfeather said, then walked down the hall to his room.


	15. First Impressions Are Balloon Noises

Lionblaze has a Shadow

Part 15: First Impressions are Balloon Noises

"Lionblaze, phones for you," Hollyleaf called from the other room. Lionblaze inwardly groaned. _It's probably Heatherpaw. _Lionblaze resentfully grabbed the phone from his sister and held it up to his ear.

"What?" he snapped.

"Why do you sound so hateful?" Jayfeather said crossly. Lionblaze breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry I thought you were Heatherpaw," Lionblaze explained. Jayfeather snorted. "Do you always talk that rudely to her?"

"Yeap."

"That's… rude."

"Well she won't go away!" Lionblaze cried. "She calls like ten freaking times a day."

"Oh … anyways, I'm at the supermarket and I forgot Hollyleafs shopping list at your house. Can you get it and read it to me?"

Jayfeather was staying at his house for the next few days, because he got into a fight with Cloudtail and apparently it was too awful to work out with him. Hollyleaf said he could stay as long as he made dinner for the time he was there. Lionblaze walked back into the kitchen and saw the list for dinner on the table.

_Eggs_

_Cheese_

_Pasta noodles_

_Any spice that's not hot mustard_

_Parmesan cheese_

It looked like Hollyleaf wanted macaroni and cheese for dinner. Lionblaze shook his head in disgust. _I hate macaroni and she knows it._

"Okay, you ready?" Lionblaze asked into the phone.

"Yeah."

Lionblaze cleared his throat. "Okay the first item is hamburger meat."

"Got it."

"Tomato's."

"Kay."

"Lettuce."

"Mhm."

"Ketchup, mustard and hamburger buns."

"Alright."

"That's it," Lionblaze said.

"I take it we're having hamburgers for dinner?"

"That's the way it's looking, isn't it?" Lionblaze crumpled up Hollyleafs list and shoved it in his pocket.

"Okay, see you later," Jayfeather hung up the phone, and Lionblaze grinned in satisfaction.

_**Later**_

The sound of the door opening woke Lionblaze from his nap. He sat up and stretched, groggy from sleeping all afternoon.

"Lionblaze can you come help me with the groceries?" Jayfeather yelled from the other room. Grumbling, Lionblaze shuffled over to the door and took some of the bags from Jayfeather. A bag of hamburger buns was sticking out the top, and Lionblazes belly rumbled in excitement. He put the lettuce in the fridge and set the buns on the counter. Jayfeather then walked in holding the rest of the bags. Lionblaze noticed half of them were full of ice cream.

"How many freaking pails of ice cream did you think we needed?" Lionblaze snapped. Jayfeather rolled his eyes and started putting them in the freezer. "They were on sale and I thought I'd nab the opportunity."

"Hollyleafs gonna be pissed," Lionblaze noted. Jayfeather just snorted. When they were done unloading the groceries, Jayfeather pulled out a frying pan.

"What are you doing?" Lionblaze crowed.

"I'm going to cook the meat, unless you'd prefer to eat the damn things raw."

"I thought we could just get Hollyleaf to make them," Lionblaze said.

"She'd make them, but she'd probably burn them."

Lionblaze realized he was right. "All right, while you do that I'm going to go watch a TV show," Lionblaze started making his way for the door.

"You can help me," Jayfeather snapped. "Come cut up the tomatoes."

Lionblaze sighed and started cutting the tomatoes. The sizzle of the hamburger meat made his mouth water. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't even hear Hollyleaf walk in.

"What the hell is this?" she cried. Lionblazes head shot up in alarm.

"What are you doing?" she yelled again, grabbing the spoon away from Jayfeather, whose protests were drowned out by Hollyleafs yelling. "Jayfeather, I gave you a very straightforward list! Where is the pasta?" she chucked the spoon back into the hamburger, slopping it all over the stove. "And where," Hollyleaf cried, making crazed hand gestures towards the tomatoes. "Is the cheese? What the hell is all this crap?"

Jayfeather looked so confused Lionblaze almost felt sorry for him.

"Lionblaze read out the list to me," Jayfeather said. "I bought what was on the list so what the hell are you screaming about?"

Hollyleafs glare transferred to Lionblaze. "I should have guessed it was you."

Lionblaze continued cutting the tomato and mumbled something inaudible.

"I feel so used!" Hollyleaf continued. "I give you _my _money to buy _your _food, and you spend it all on your own interests! Did you at _least _pick up some parmesan cheese?" Hollyleaf yanked open the freezer door and six buckets of ice cream tumbled onto the floor. Lionblaze watched in silence as Hollyleaf just stood there, staring at the ice cream.

"It was on sale," Jayfeather said feebly. Hollyleaf stalked over to the stove, turned the oven off and grabbed the frying pan. Then she picked up the tomato and walked out of the room. Jayfeather's eyes stretched wide as he heard the front door open, and heard the clattering of the pan hit the driveway. Hollyleaf stormed back in and pointed to the door. "GET OUT!" she screamed. Jayfeather and Lionblaze did as they were told; Hollyleaf did them the liberty of slamming and locking the door behind them.

"That didn't go as well as id planned," Lionblaze said, picking up the frying pan. Luckily the meat was still okay, just getting cold from not being on a burner anymore.

"I wish she threw the buns out here too," Jayfeather said, knocking on the door. "Maybe if I ask nicely she'll give them to us-"

The door flew open and Hollyleaf threw the buns in Jayfeathers face. Then she slammed it again without saying anything. Lionblaze noticed a family of four staring at them from across the road.

"What?" Lionblaze shouted. They scurried away with their heads low.

"You shouldn't have lied," Jayfeather said. Lionblaze hung his head. "I know," he mumbled. Jayfeather sighed and looked around. "Now what are we going to do?"

"We could sing really loudly until she lets us back in."

"I don't think that would help," Jayfeather mumbled.

"THERES NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS-" Lionblaze's voice cut off when Jayfeather punched him on the arm. "Stop it!" he hissed. Lionblaze giggled.

_**Later**_

"Welcome to FantasticBurger may I take your order?" a voice droned from the order taking booth. Jayfeather cleared his throat. "Um, yeah. If I give you some hamburger meat would you be able to fry it up for me?" he turned back to Lionblaze, face red from embarrassment. Lionblaze nodded in encouragement. He could hear the voice pause, then Lionblaze heard a cough that mysteriously sounded like laughter.

"Can I do what?" the person giggled.

"Fry some hamburger meat for me," Jayfeathers face turned ever redder. It took all of Lionblazes willpower not to start laughing.

"Pull up to the first window and I'll help you there," the voice said. Lionblaze tried not to think of how stupid they probably looked, walking through the drive thru with no car.

"This is so freaking embarrassing," Jayfeather hissed as he carried the frying pan to the window. The window opened, and the prettiest girl Lionblaze had ever seen looked out.

"Hi," she giggled. Jayfeather set the frying pan on the ledge. "I'll give you three bucks if you fry this," he said. "Lionblaze, give me your change."

Lionblaze just sat there, staring.

"Oh for gods sake," Jayfeather pulled out his own change and set it on the counter. "Can you do this for us?"

"Uh, I don't see why not," the girl took the frying pan and disappeared.

"Heeee…" Lionblaze made a sound that resembled air leaking out of a balloon.

"She probably thinks you're retarded," Jayfeather said. Lionblaze glared at him. A few minutes later, the window opened again and the girl handed out the frying pan.

"Thanks," Jayfeather said, pushing the change towards her. She shook her head. "Keep it," she smiled one last time at them, then shut the window.

"Haaaa.."

"You're weird," Jayfeather said. Lionblaze shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Let's go eat," he said at last. "I'm starving."


	16. Briarlight

Lionblaze has a Shadow

Part 16: Briarlight

"These magazine quizzes are getting ridiculous," Hollyleaf said, annoyed. "Listen to this garbage! 'To save your life, would you rather screw Tigerstar or Tigerheart?' I mean for crying out loud I think doing it with either of them would shorten my life, not prolong it."

Lionblaze laughed at her irritation.

"Stupid lousy rubbish," Hollyleaf mumbled. Lionblaze noticed she kept reading the magazine anyway. He sat there in silence, thinking about how grateful he was that Hollyleaf wasn't angry at him or Jayfeather anymore.

"Now it's asking me if id rather fuck Longtail or-"

"Just shut up!" Lionblaze cried. "Just shut the goddamn magazine."

Hollyleaf slapped it shut in annoyance. "That was a complete waste of three dollars," she grumbled.

"I'll bet."

_Knock knock knock_

Lionblaze sighed. "I'll get it," he said as he got off the couch. Yawning, he opened the door. Heatherpaw stood there, smiling expectantly at him.

"Hello," she said. Lionblaze scratched his ear absentmindedly. "Hello," he grunted, wishing Hollyleaf had answered the door so he could hide in his room and pretend he wasn't home.

"Want to go for lunch with me?" she asked.

"Where?" Lionblaze sighed.

"Let's go get hamburgers," Heatherpaw said excitedly.

"I can't. I'm allergic to hamburgers," Lionblaze said.

"_Cough Cough BullshitCough Cough" _Hollyleaf fake coughed from the other room. Lionblaze made a mental note to say something rash to her later.

"How can you be allergic to hamburgers?" Heatherpaw snapped. "It's all you ever fucking eat."

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Lionblaze said, his voice monotone. "Fine lets go."

Heatherpaw squealed excitedly and grabbed his hand. Lionblaze tried not to roll his eyes. "Are we going to McCat?" Lionblaze asked.

"I was thinking Fantastic Burger," Heatherpaw replied.

"Okay, cool," Lionblaze dug around his pockets in attempts to find a cigarette. When his hand fumbled across one he pulled it out gently so not to break it. When he was in the process of lighting it, he took a step forward and nearly fell backwards. Looking behind him, he realized Heatherpaw held tight to his hand, but stood a few feet back.

"Is there a reason you nearly ripped my arm out of it's socket?" Lionblaze asked.

"I don't like you smoking," she huffed. "Put it out or I'm going to stomp on it."

"Well I didn't particularly enjoy you snorting cocaine but I dealt with it," Lionblaze flicked his lighter again. Heatherpaw smacked it out of his hands and kicked it across the sidewalk. Lionblaze turned his head slowly to stare at her.

"What's your problem," Lionblaze asked quietly. Heatherpaw angrily crossed her arms.

"My problem is you!" she cried. "All I've done is try to make this relationship work, but you seem determined to throw it away!"

"_You've been trying to help have you? _Okay, let's be honest. First off, you get addicted to cocaine. Second, you flat out tell me you like it more then me. Thirdly, you dump me and don't even bother telling me why. Fourth, you don't speak to me for nearly a whole year. And last but not least, you randomly show up on my doorstep and force me to take you back. Did you ever once think of my feelings? That maybe I don't want to be with someone who hurt me so badly?" Lionblaze said, throwing his arms up in exasperation. "I mean for crying out loud, you didn't even ask me if I wanted to be with you."

"You freaking jerk," Heatherpaw said under her breath as she pushed past him. Lionblaze was just starting to think if he'd been a little to harsh, when she turned around.

"As if I give a damn you smoke!" she screamed. "I hope your lungs rot out of your fucking chest!" then she turned and stomped away. Lionblaze lit the smoke anyway. _Well I hope her nose burns every time you fucking breathe. _Lionblaze was confused why he didn't even feel the slightest pang of resentment or sadness. _Probably cause I never loved her to begin with,_ he thought. Lionblaze decided there was no point in going back home when he was already in sight of Fantastic Burger. _I will smoke my smoke and eat a hamburger by myself and I don't give a damn what anyone thinks,_ he thought, proudly making his way to the restaurant.

"Hi can I please get one hamburger," Lionblaze asked.

"Would you like to larger size your meal?" The pimply teen rolled his eyes and spoke with such fake enthusiasm it made Lionblaze uncomfortable.

"Um, I didn't want a meal. Just the sandwich," Lionblaze explained.

"And what would you like to drink with your meal?" the kid droned.

"I don't want the mea-"

"Would you like to add a pie to your meal for an extra dollar fifty?" the kid said.

"I didn't order the fucking me-"

"Ten fifty for your meal please," the kid held out his hand. Lionblaze glared mutinously at him and forked over the money. Just as Lionblaze was about to walk away to find a place to sit, the kid purposefully cleared his throat, then jingled a jar that was meant for tips. Lionblaze walked back over and fished though his pockets. The kid smiled greedily, then frowned as Lionblaze stuffed a bunch of used tissues into the jar. "That's what I think of you," Lionblaze said in satisfaction. "Something for people to smear their snot on."

The kid visibly flinched and Lionblaze walked over to his table, grinning at the way his comeback had came to him in an instant. Usually he thought of a perfect comeback hours after the moment had happened. After about eight minutes, Lionblaze heard the sounds of footsteps approaching. He looked up and nearly choked. It was the girl from yesterday, when he and Jayfeather had embarresingly walked through the drive thru with a frying pan full of half cooked meat.

"Hi," he said at last. She smiled at him, then set his food down. "Hello," she replied. "I hope you enjoy your meal."

Lionblaze shoved a fry into his mouth. "Oh I will," he said. "Thank you..." he paused to read her name tag. "Briarlight."

Briarlight smiled at him then turned to walk away. Lionblaze admired her beauty, in awe that she still looked stunning even in a uniform. Lionblaze took his time eating his fries, hoping Briarlight would come talk to him again.

To his surprise, she did.

"Is everything okay?" she asked. Lionblaze shrugged and took a sip of his drink. "It could be better."

Briarlights face fell. "What's the problem?"

"Nothing, but I'd probably enjoy it more if you were sitting with me."

"Well then why don't you ask?"

Briarlights bluntness took Lionblaze off guard. "Well maybe you'd say no."

"I bet id say yes."

"Do you want to... sit down?" Lionblaze asked awkwardly. Briarlight jokingly shrugged her shoulders . "I guess," she teased. Lionblaze stared across at her, and she stared back. Lionblaze snapped back to reality first, shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts. "Aren't you supposed to be working?" he asked.

"No, I'm done now," she said. Lionblaze nodded, feeling to awkward to say anything.

"So.. Do you live on your own?" Briarlight asked.

"I live with my sister and two of our cousins," Lionblaze said, wincing at how lame that sounded. "What about you?"

"I live on my own," Briarlight said sadly. "I wish I could live with my brother and sister. You're very lucky."

"Yeah right. Hollyleafs like the queen of bitches and Jayfeathers attractions are way out of wack. I do love them though," he admitted. "Despite their problematic qualities, they're actually quite amazing people."

"Hollyleaf ... you know, I've heard that name before... and by the way, you never told me yours."

"Lionblaze."

"That's a cute name," she smiled. Weird feelings were beginning to crawl through Lionblaze, and he wished they'd go away. They were different feelings though. Lionblaze was starting to wonder if he'd forgotten the last time a girl had sparked any kind of feeling in him.

"Would you like to come over tonight, if you're not busy?" Lionblaze asked suddenly. "Jayfeather and Hollyleaf are home, so it won't be boring."

It was a wonderful sight, the way Briarlights faces slowly lit up.

"I'd love to," she whispered. Lionblaze grinned, shoving his last bite of the hamburger into his mouth. "Awesome. Do you want to come now or do you have stuff you need to do?"

"I can come with you now," she said.

_**Later**_

"Hey, Hollyleaf, I'd like you to meet my friend Briarlight."

Hollyleaf looked up to see who Lionblaze was talking about. "Hey," she said. "Are you guys going out?"

"No!" Lionblazes face turned red, embarrassed by Hollyleaf and her tendency to not think about what she says before she says it. Hollyleaf just shrugged, and turned her attention back to the TV. Lionblaze led her away, and hastily tried to apologize. "Sorry about that," he said. "I told you she'd be rude."

Briarlight just giggled, not embarrassed at all. "She's fine," she smiled. Lionblaze found Jayfeather sitting on his bed painting his toenails. "Hi Jayfeather," Lionblaze awkwardly cleared his throat. Jayfeather looked up. "Hi," he said. "Are you the one Lionblaze was making balloon noises at?"

Lionblaze nearly attacked him. "WHAT THE HELL is everyones issue today?" Lionblaze cried, stomping out of the room. He could hear Jayfeather laugh from the other room. Lionblaze slumped down onto one of the chairs in the kitchen and held his head in his hands.

_I swear, everyone goes out of their way to make me sound like an idiot. _

"Hey, Lionblaze?"

Lionblaze heard Briarlights voice a few feet away.

"You can leave if you want," Lionblaze groaned. "Everyone in the house is retarded."

Briarlight giggled. "I like your brother and sister," she admitted. "And I like you."

"I like you too."

"Then stop being silly," Lionblaze heard the squeak of a chair shuffling closer to him. He could feel Briarlights hand rest on his shoulder, making him tense up. "You can be yourself around me, Lionblaze."

Lionblaze looked up at her. "Thanks," he said. "You have no idea how much I appreciate you saying that."

**Thanks for reading ! Please revieeew ? **


	17. Liar, Liar

Lionblaze has a Shadow

Part 17 : Liar, Liar

"Will this be enough?" the man asked. Briarlight took the money from him and counted it.

"This is good," she said. "You ready?"

"This is going to be discreet, right?" the man asked, warily looking around. "I can't have my wife find out about this."

Briarlight smiled sadly. "Don't worry, cutie. No ones gonna see us."

"You're so freaking cold," Cloudtail snapped. "What the hell did they do to you, make you sleep in the freezer?"

"The heater broke down," Jayfeather replied, his teeth chattering.

"And so you just expect me to let you come back home?" Cloudtail asked. "You haven't even apologized yet."

"I didn't do anything!" Jayfeather cried. "All I did was talk to Mothwing on the phone. _Mothwing,_ for crying out loud! She's my freaking cousin!"

"Not legally," Cloudtail retorted. Jayfeather groaned in frustration. "I love you, Cloudtail. What's with all this jealousy?"

"I just really missed you," Cloudtail said, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "I'm sorry, alright? My emotions have been all over the place lately."

"It's okay, hey don't cry-"

"I can't help it!" Cloudtail cried, throwing his arms around Jayfeather. "I'm sorry for being such an idiot," he whispered. "I promise I won't do it anymore."

"Good," Jayfeather said, awkwardly hugging him back. "Now can we please go inside?"

"Oh yeah you're cold," Cloudtail said, releasing Jayfeather from his death grip. Jayfeather leaned back over to him and kissed him on the lips. "I love you," he said. Cloudtail smiled. "I love you too. And you didn't even turn red!" he exclaimed. "I say we're making progress."

"Be quiet," Jayfeather mumbled.

**(Page break)**

_Hey it's Briarlight. Leave me a message!_

"Goddamn," Lionblaze cursed under his breath.

"Is she still not picking up?" Hollyleaf called from the kitchen. Lionblaze slammed the phone on the coffee table. "No, she's not," he sighed. "Where is she?"

"She probably left her phone in her bag," Hollyleaf said. "I wouldn't worry too much about it."

"I guess not," Lionblaze said glumly. Then the smell hit him. "What the hell are you making?" he coughed.

"A meatloaf!" Hollyleaf said as Lionblaze entered the kitchen. There was smoke everywhere, the oven was nearly invisible in the black cloud of smoke surrounding it. Then Hollyleaf somehow found the oven door and opened it. A mushroom cloud of smoke blew up in her face. Lionblaze watched as she pulled out the meatloaf, coughing like mad. She threw the charred pan onto the counter and proceeded to cough. Lionblaze peered into it, expecting to see a mix of meat and roasted onions.

"Where the hell is the meat?" Lionblaze asked. What he was looking at was a pan full of burnt onions, carrots and cheese.

"I forgot we didn't have any," Hollyleaf said, her voice raspy from the coughing.

"You're dumb," Lionblaze snapped. "Where did the recipe call for all this cheese?"

"I was experimenting, all right?" Hollyleaf cried, throwing the entire pan in the garbage. "We'll just order take out again."

"Let's get thai food," Lionblaze said. "All we ever eat is hamburgers anymore."

"And whose fault is that?" Hollyleaf snapped. "That's all you ever want."

"I don't want it today."

"You're so frustrating," Hollyleaf sighed, picking up the phone. "Hey, do you know where Mothwing and Hawkfrost is? We should ask if they want take out too."

"I think they're playing Mario on the gamecube," Lionblaze said. "I'll go ask them."

Lionblaze walked up the stairs and opened the door to his cousins room.

"Hey!" Mothwing exclaimed. "Want to play with us?"

"Maybe in a bit," Lionblaze replied. "Hollyleaf wanted to know if you want any thai food,"

"Oh god she's not making it is she," Hawkfrost groaned. "Everythings gonna be charred."

Lionblaze knew he was right, but still didn't like it when he made fun of his sister. "She's ordering takeout," Lionblaze said defensively.

"Good, then we won't all have to go to the hospital with food poisoning."

"Stop that," Lionblaze snapped. "I've never seen you once even _attempt _to make dinner! Hollyleaf at least tries to. The least you can do is be grateful!"

Hawkfrost stared at him, eyes gleaming.

"He's right, you know," Mothwing said quietly. "She does try to make supper every night-"

"It sucks," Hawkfrost cut her off. "Lionblaze, your sister _sucks."_

That was the last straw. Lionblaze yanked his pack of smokes out of his pocket and lit one up.

"You know your not allowed to smoke in the house!" Hawkfrost screamed. Lionblaze took a big puff and made a point to blow it in Hawkfrosts face_. _Hawkfrosts mouth gaped open, as if he didn't know what to say. Lionblaze took another deep drag off his smoke, and held it in. "This is for making fun of Hollyleaf," he said, then blew out a huge cloud right into Hawkfrosts face again. Then, with as much dignity he had, Lionblaze stomped out of the room, poking the door with his smoke to put it out on his way out of the room. When he got back downstairs, it was obvious Hollyleaf had heard them screaming at each other. She was smiling, her eyes crinkled up with happiness. "Thank you for standing up for me," she said. "It makes me feel good to know someone out there appreciates my attempts to cook, even though I can't do it."

"Well, you try so hard!" Lionblaze exclaimed. "It's mean that Hawkfrost doesn't even care that you're trying."

"Well, thank you," Hollyleaf smiled again. Lionblaze thought something over for a second. "Want me to teach you to make something?" he asked. "Then we can serve it to Hawkfrost and laugh at the look on his face when we tell him you made it."

Hollyleafs face lit up like a light. "I'd love that!" she cried. "Can I choose the recipe?"

"Choose whatever one you like, and we'll make it," Lionblaze said. As Hollyleaf flipped through the cookbook, Lionblaze pulled out his phone and dialed Briarlights number again. _Please pick up,_ he thought. He was just about to hang up when she picked up on the last ring.

"Hello?" Briarlight answered, sounding out of breath.

"Hey, its Lionblaze," Lionblaze said worriedly. "Are you okay? You sound like your out of breath."

"I was just running on the treadmill," Briarlight answered. "That's why I didn't pick up your calls, sorry."

"Its okay. Want to come over tonight for dinner?" Lionblaze asked. Briarlight didn't reply for a second. "Um, I can't. I have to stay home with Blossomfall tonight, I already promised."

"Oh, well, okay," Lionblaze said dejectedly. "Bye," then he hung up the phone.

_Why do I get the feeling she was lying to me?_

Lionblaze forced himself to push away his thoughts, and returned his attention to Hollyleaf.

"I found a recipe!" she said proudly. Lionblaze peered over the counter to see what she had chosen. It was shrimp pasta.

"You are aware this is the hardest recipe in the book right?" Lionblaze sighed.

"I know, but it looks so good!" Hollyleaf cried. "I can't wait to eat it!"

"Well then, let's get started," Lionblaze had a feeling this was going to be a terribly long evening.

"Okay let's see," Hollyleaf read the first instructions. "Get a large bowl for the pasta. That's easy!" Hollyleaf yanked out a small bowl from the cupboard.

"Not big enough," Lionblaze said the second he saw it. Hollyleaf dejectedly put the bowl back and grabbed a larger one.

"Okay, you can get started on the shrimp," Lionblaze pulled a bag of shrimp out of the freezer. "Run them under warm water and tear all their tails off."

"Tear their _tails _off?" Hollyleaf cried. "That's disgusting!"

Lionblaze sighed. "Just do it. I'll put the pasta on."

Hollyleaf started de-tailing the shrimps, grumbling the whole time about how gross it was.

_Later_

"I can smell it!" Hollyleaf cried from the living room. "And it actually smells _good!" _

Lionblaze smiled. "I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it."

Lionblaze heard Hawkfrost and Mothwings footsteps walking down the stairs.

"Something smells good!" Mothwing exclaimed. "Lionblaze, did you make this?"

"I did!" Hollyleaf stated proudly. Hawkfrost snorted. "Yeah right."

"She did," Lionblaze snapped. "I watched her make it."

Hollyleaf was flushed with pride. "Thank you... oh yeah and Lionblaze, did you get a hold of Briarlight?"

Lionblazes sinking feeling that something was wrong returned. "I did," he said glumly. "But for some reason, I think she was lying to me."

**(Page Break)**

Briarlight pulled on her coat and watched the man from the corner of her eye. He was strong, and at least three heads taller then her.

"How old are you again?" the man asked.

"24," Briarlight lied.

"Okay. Same time next week?" he asked. Briarlight felt tears brimming her eyes. "Yeah," she whispered. "You know where to find me."


	18. The Letter

Lionblaze has a Shadow

Part 18: The Letter

"Lionblaze, I have a problem and I'd like to talk to you about it," Jayfeather said irritably. Lionblaze nodded his head, not looking up from his computer screen.

"I bought two packs of oatmeal bars yesterday. Their gone, and Hollyleaf swears she didn't eat them."

"So you're accusing me?" Lionblaze mumbled. Jayfeather sighed. "Well, yeah. Lionblaze for crying out loud, I found the empty box in your room."

"Hawkfrost threw those in there," Lionblaze said, obviously lying.

"You're an idiot. You owe me two boxes, and you better get them today," Jayfeather snapped, then left the room. Lionblaze pulled out the last oatmeal bar out of his desk and took a big bite, face red from lying. Lionblaze forced his guilt out of his mind and picked up his phone. He dialed Briarlights number, which he had already memorized.

As usual, she picked up on the last ring.

"Hello?" she said, voice alarmed.

"Uh, hey," Lionblaze said, confused on why she sounded so weird. "I got caught with Jayfeathers oatmeal bars. Want to come to the grocery store with me to pick up some more?"

Briarlight hesitated, and it hurt Lionblazes feelings.

"Look, if you don't want to be with me, then don't freaking be with me," Lionblaze said quietly. Briarlight gasped. "Why would you say that?"

"Because every time I want to do something with you, you make some stupid excuse not to. I can tell that you were trying to make an excuse right then," Lionblaze said.

"It's not that… it's just… I've got a lot going on right now, okay?" Briarlight sounded exasperated.

"Doing what?"

"Working."

"Working with what?" Lionblaze snapped. "You don't have a job."

This made Briarlight stop talking at once. Lionblazes anger was suddenly replaced by confusion. "You don't have a job," he repeated. "So what _are _you doing?"

"Can we talk about this later?" Briarlight asked desperately. "Please…"

"Fine. Meet me at the grocery store in ten minutes," Lionblaze said cautiously, and then hung up.

_What has she been doing?_

* * *

><p>Lionblaze sat outside the grocery store, chain smoking like crazy. His palms were so sweaty he could barely hold onto his smoke, and he was trembling so much he could barely suck in the toxic fumes. Lionblaze knew he was probably jumping to conclusions, but his gut was telling him something was seriously wrong going on with Briarlight. Lionblaze couldn't help thinking that she was playing trick.<p>

"Hey," Briarlights soft voice shook Lionblaze out of his troubled thoughts. He turned around, and looked at his "girlfriend." To his dismay, her hair was slightly ruffled and her face was red.

"Want to talk?" Briarlight asked. Lionblaze felt like his heart was crumbling. "Yeah," he whispered. "Tell me what you were doing." Lionblaze braced himself to hear that she was a prostitute.

"You see, Lionblaze," Briarlight said sadly. "I never meant to turn down this road, but I had no other choice-"

"BRIARLIGHT!" a voice made Lionblaze jump. He turned around to see Heatherpaw full out sprinting towards them. Lionblaze groaned. "Goddamn Heatherpaw," he hissed. Briarlight just stared wide-eyed at her, her red face turned ashy white.

"Briarlight, I need some more," Heatherpaw stuttered, rubbing her hands together.

"Can't this wait until later?" Briarlight said so quietly Lionblaze nearly didn't hear her. Heatherpaw frantically shook her head. "No, it can't wait," she cried. Lionblaze was starting to get the feeling that Heatherpaw was high on cocaine, her movements were jerky and her eyes bulged so far out of her face that Lionblaze thought they were going to fall out and roll onto the floor.

_Wait, why would she be telling Briarlight she needs more cocaine? _Lionblaze thought, confused. Why would Briarlight care if –

OH MY GOD.

It hit Lionblaze like a lightning bolt to the face as he realized what Briarlight was doing. He turned to face her, and she met his eyes, scared.

"You're not a prostitute," Lionblaze whispered. Then a smile stretched across his face. "You're not a freaking prostitute!" Lionblaze threw his arms around Briarlight, who was so confused she didn't even hug him back. He broke away from her, and looked her straight in the eyes. "You, _terrified _me," Lionblaze growled. "I thought you were turning tricks on the street!"

"But… you do realize what I'm doing?" Briarlight cried.

"Yeah!" Lionblaze exclaimed happily. "You're a drug dealer!" Lionblaze hugged Briarlight again, feeling tears well up in his eyes. Briarlight pushed him away. "How are you okay with this?" she cried. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"A little bit," Lionblaze sniffed, tears starting to fall down his face. "I'm just so happy you're not turning tricks. But wait," Lionblaze stared at Briarlight, then at Heatherpaw.

"You don't do drugs, do you?" he asked, scared of what the answer would be. Briarlight shook her head no, a small smile appearing on her face. "I can't believe you're not mad at me," she whispered.

"Well, obviously there will be a discussion later about you not dealing anymore," Lionblaze said sternly. Briarlight gave a half laugh. "I figured."

"But you didn't answer my question," Lionblaze said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I love you," Briarlight whispered. "And I didn't want to hurt you."

Lionblaze felt his heart soar out of his chest. "I love you too," he said, surprised he really meant it. Briarlight smiled sweetly at him, and then grabbed one of his hands. "So let's just be happy right now," she said quietly. Lionblaze felt his heart warm at her touch, and he smiled back. "Let's just be happy," he whispered.

* * *

><p>Lionblaze put the oatmeal bars in the cupboard, still feeling happy from earlier.<p>

"Hey Hollyleaf!" he called, making his way into the dining room where his sister was sitting. "You'll never guess what happened with-"he stopped talking as he realized Hollyleaf was crying. "What's wrong?" he asked. Hollyleaf rubbed her eyes and looked up at him.

"Jayfeathers gone," she said glumly. "He left when we were gone…"

Lionblaze was stricken. "What?"

"He left earlier, when I was shopping. He left this for you," Hollyleaf held a folded piece of paper out to Lionblaze. Lionblaze took it, confused. The first sentence made Lionblazes eyes sting with tears.

_Lionblaze, if you are reading this, then I'll be gone. Don't worry, I'm not dead… I'm with Cloudtail, and we are in New York. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that we were moving, but it all happened so suddenly. He asked me to marry him, Lionblaze! I can't express how happy I am… We were going to leave in a few weeks, but a spot opened up suddenly, and we took it. It's time for me to start my life, and I couldn't do that down where you live. Please forgive me for not saying goodbye, I promise I'll make it up to you. And hey, maybe you and Hollyleaf can move down here too! I miss you guys so much already, more than you'll ever believe. And I really don't want to sound like a sap, but there's no other way around it. But remember I'm always here for you. You, have a shadow, Lionblaze. Me. I'll always be your best friend, just as you'll always be mine. You can always count on me to stay by your side. _

_Good luck with everything, Lionblaze… and goodbye_

**The End**

Thank you for reading everyone! I hope you enjoyed it… and for those of you who didn't want it to end, don't worry! There will be a sequel. So next time you're browsing the fanfictions, keep watch for:

**Lionblaze stole the Stars**


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